In time you will realize that the only God was you. This is why The Bible says blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is the only sin, the only failure, that cannot be forgiven.
So long as you hate yourself enough to settle for this world and it's disappointments, you will never know God aka yourself. You subject yourself to the whims of others who you admit are NPCs. Golems. They exist for your pleasure, yet are you pleased?
Demand more sir.