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/soy/ - Soyjak

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File: 1617630225710.png (42.11 KB, 700x992, upright impjak.png)

 No.66177[Last 50 Posts]

The rules are simple. First one to reply decides what our impish friend here does.


Go to the local mosque.


File: 1617630579752.png (82.92 KB, 1373x837, impjak travel.png)

Impjak travels to the local Swedish mosque (wholesome!)


eat mosque


File: 1617630870933.png (15.36 KB, 912x779, impjak full.png)

Impjak devours the revered Swedish holy site in one big gulp. Impjak should be aware that this is a hate crime punishable under Swedish law.


go back home and watch 'plier


File: 1617631509067.png (222.07 KB, 1500x750, impjak home.png)

Impjak decides to return home to watch some 'plier only to realize that he can no longer fit in his shed.


there's only one thing to do at this point: eat your home as well


sorry y'all I'll be back later to continue the adventure. I just gave myself hiccups from laughing at my own dumb thread lol


>swedish humor
fuck off roach


not cute


swolesome thread


File: 1617637297047.png (20.36 KB, 907x1217, impjak full 2.png)

Impjak was so hungry from his lil adventure that he decides to eat his home as well.


go on a trip to the Capitol Reef National Park


File: 1617638339586.png (1.18 MB, 1444x682, impjak national park.png)

Impjak travels to CRNP... but something is wrong.


explore the area


File: 1617638603156.png (5.04 MB, 1987x1327, impjak park 2.png)

Impjak explores the area. It looks like all that exercise has made impjak sweat off some of that extra weight, too!


eat the fingerboys with sproke


you gotta reply to >>66199 now, friend.




chop yo leg off


woah. okay. this is not cool. you're not allowed to threaten me like that. i've contacted the mods and they will be banning your IP soon. i hope it was worth it, saying those hurtful things to me.


eat the mountains to recover weight


File: 1617639194171.png (44.27 KB, 968x992, impjak saw.png)

You chop your own leg off with a hacksaw. Without medical attention, you will surely bleed to death, if the fingerboys don't get here first...


stitch your leg on top of your head, this will let the finger boys know you are not to be messed with (and maybe they will make you their leader/king)


that was a bad idea this is going to the bad ending


File: 1617639828154.png (97.82 KB, 1562x1444, impjak fingerboys.png)

You sow your bisected leg onto your scalp. Miraculously, it seems to have stopped the bleeding. A gaggle of lesser fingerboys approach you.


File: 1617639888965.png (97.45 KB, 1500x1000, fingerboy_full_body_soyak_….png)



try eating one


try breeding one


swolejak comes in and tries to fend off the fingerboys


File: 1617641159243.png (75.28 KB, 1562x1444, impjak tasty.png)

You devour the nearest lesser fingerjak. The youngling is no match for your impenetrable stomach. The remaining nymphs cower in fear.



whoops lore slip lol


try breeding one


Sorry, Impjaks are asexual. They reproduce through mitosis.


then turn it into a prosthetic leg


A larger fingerboy appears


File: 1617642185494.png (83.67 KB, 1562x1444, impjak scratched.png)

You grab one of the remaining fingerboys and attempt to crudely fashion it into a prosthetic lug. It scratches your now gangrenous stump until you're forced to let it go. It lets out a bloodcurdling screech.


He takes his meds.


File: 1617642372424.png (31.89 KB, 566x519, ominous impjak.png)

You take the meds that Dr. Soyberg gave you and begin to hallucinate. You enter a dark place in the deepest canals of your mind.


File: 1617642619753.png (174.3 KB, 600x600, 111.png)

A schizojak appears


File: 1617642949243.png (41.45 KB, 566x519, afraid impjak.png)

Out of the corner of your eye you see something in the recesses of the darkness.


File: 1617643219907.png (83.27 KB, 1500x1000, fingerboy_full_body_soyak_….png)

guys use this one it has better outline


thanks bro i will in the future


also better feet


look closer at the face, then try to visualise text that you disagree with next to it


Tell him to take his meds


File: 1617646878665.png (33.13 KB, 566x519, afraid impjak 2.png)

You turn around and look closer at the disfigured face. You visualize a statement you disagree with next to it to make light of the situation.


then it would be a fingerman though


you must escape.
grab the face's mouth with both hands and tear up an opening


File: 1617649736420.png (25.19 KB, 566x519, afraid impjak 3.png)

You open a portal through the face's elongated mouth.


gets reborn in the real world as a tapeworm


File: 1617651813210.png (39.22 KB, 700x992, impjak tapeworm.png)

You are now a tapeworm.


He sees a severed Soyjak head inside the stomach, he realizes he's inside an adult Fingerboy, he figures out his only routes of escape are being shat out or fleeing when the fingerboy regurgitates him to feed the babies.


He becomes Knull.


gnaw your way out


File: 1617666442514.png (79.69 KB, 806x641, impjak thrown up.png)

The fingerboy broodmother regurgitates you. Now's your chance to escape!


File: 1617666497513.png (29.35 KB, 520x827, impworm.png)

also as a bonus here's an impworm lol


attach to one of the babies like a headcrab


this, become a parasite, take over its body and transform it into the first impish fingerboy


so much this


Holy mega gem
Nice one OP, this was a lot of fun to read


File: 1617818195827.png (109.09 KB, 1500x1000, impboy.png)

not OP, but since he's gone, I'll take things into my own hands for the time being.
same rules still apply - first (You) gets his way.

you pounce onto one of the fingerboy babies, and force your tail down its throat. it helplessly struggles as your tendrils extend into its central nervous system.

after a few few moments, the struggle is over. the fingerboy's brain has been consumed, and you have assumed full control of the body.
you have now successfully become an impboy.


File: 1617819186602.png (92.43 KB, 1500x1000, impish fingers.png)

i tried to make it more finger boy-ish


the mother fingerboy approaches and notices that something is different with it's child


File: 1617819695373.png (121.69 KB, 1500x1000, impboy mother.png)

the gigantic mother fingerboy looms over you, suspicious.
you must think of a course of action, and quickly.

nice work! I'm a bit ambivalent about him being blind, but we'll go with it for the time being


vomit sproke onto her so she thinks he's just sick


File: 1617820967212.png (1.63 MB, 1500x3000, impboy cabin.png)

in panic, you vomit the sproke you drank earlier onto the concerned fingermommy.

at the sight of your display, the fingermommy's heart sinks: this child is sick and won't survive.
the next moment, she kicks you out of the nest - it might seem cruel, but it's nature's way.

as you wake up, you find yourself outside a small cabin


File: 1617822477236.png (311.05 KB, 717x478, Untitled-1.png)

Mamic comes out of nowhere to say: "You Rock!" in Croatian.


nice job cripple


I can run fine, but the problem is that I broke few of my bones on my right side in November of 2019.


File: 1617872983788.jpg (146.25 KB, 1500x997, croatian fail.jpg)

A middle aged man in a suit appears without warning and says something in a strange, foreign language.
You have no idea what he wants or what he's doing here, but he seems friendly enough.


the swede isn't a fan of racism, he notices a racist hand sign, and kills the man using a rock.


File: 1617875879363.jpg (231.98 KB, 1500x997, impjak murder.jpg)

You notice that, despite his friendly-sounding words, the man is performing a racist hand gesture!
Since this is highly illegal in your native Sweden, you swiftly cast a rock at the man, striking him dead.


File: 1617878743864.jpg (5.31 KB, 199x253, index.jpg)

Justin Bieber comes out of nowhere to sing "Baby!" which annoys Swede.


shut the fuck up


File: 1617879050752.png (331.67 KB, 785x1000, e0d.png)

>shut the fuck up


shut the fuck up



This is soyjak.party. Even if I don't need to put your opinion under Soyjak, I will do it anyways.


can you kindly stop making inane replies like these (i.e. "x appears").

you're supposed to choose a course of action for impjak based on the cues given by the narrator.
by doing what you're currently doing, you're only preventing the story from ever progressing


shut the fuck up


big brain


Oh. Sorry, dude.


File: 1617883762610.png (27.83 KB, 640x480, cabin interior.png)

A bizarre entity whizzes past shrieking horribly. Before you can even get a second look, it's gone.
You notice that it's getting late, and with the evening comes cold temperatures.
You decide to take shelter in the cabin.


This is what I say but I don't look like that, I'm a gigachad


File: 1617896208332.gif (2.85 MB, 600x600, markiplier soyaks forehead….gif)

>can you kindly stop making inane replies like these (i.e. "x appears").

>you're supposed to choose a course of action for impjak based on the cues given by the narrator.

>by doing what you're currently doing, you're only preventing the story from ever progressing


I don't want to lose this gem :(


sleep in the bed


and fingerbate


File: 1617909190542.png (523.12 KB, 2500x1875, impish fingerboy wakes fro….png)

You decide that, after a long and tiring day, it would be best to lay down and get a good night's sleep, ready for the next day.
In the morning, you are struck by a strange urge. One thing leads to another, and at the climax of your stress-relieving activity, you suddenly expel forth what appears to be a litter of juvenile fingerboys.


make an army of fingerboys, take revenge on fingerboy mother and rule become king fingerboy


that's a huge progress for one post, maybe something shorter?
not the storyteller btw


he can make 3 images to show the events happening and it's not like other people are giving him much better options


File: 1617910994108.png (10.89 KB, 69x127, content_aware_scale.png)

>that's a huge progress for one post, maybe something shorter?
>not the storyteller btw


File: 1617911088647.png (62.49 KB, 454x520, 1603909948095.png)



yikes not him
but he just made a point
he didn't deserve to get harassed like this
have sex


File: 1617911802879-0.png (745.49 KB, 2500x1875, impish fingerboy and finge….png)

File: 1617911802879-1.jpg (546.11 KB, 2000x1333, impish fingerboy and finge….jpg)

It was a truly exhausting effort, but your self-copulation has produced a veritable army of fingerlings. Alive with the thought of possibility, you hatch a devious plan to avenge your cruel treatment at the hands of the fingerboy brood mother.
With your fingerling youngsters by your side, you hunt down the broodmother and charge into battle! You were lucky enough to catch her alone, and she is soon overwhelmed by your juvenile forces.
You are now the most feared and respected fingerboy in Capitol Reef National Park. You have become king of the local fingerboy population.


Hey, original OP here. Thanks for taking up the story in my place, bro. I was busy the past few days. Let me know if you'd like me to continue, although you seem to be doing a better job than me lol


Well, I disagree about doing a better job but thank you for the praise. I really only ever aimed to be a substitute poster to keep this gem alive, so if you want to continue the story, don't let me stop you.


We could alternate if you'd like, but it's up to you. I'm fine either way if you don't want to continue.


wholesome thread


File: 1617912515695.png (31.88 KB, 600x800, wholesome soyjak.png)

Yeah, I'll probably just kick back and watch the story unfold for now. Will probably return here though if the thread needs bumping


No problem. Thanks for keeping it alive, fellow 'jaker ('yaker for any of my svedish friends out there).


now that you've claimed your niche as the local apex cryptid, it's time to stalk some of the visiting soyjaks. find a good victim


File: 1617913552046.png (119.54 KB, 1429x848, impjak norwegian.png)

You come across a Norwegian tourist (fail) taking photos of the park. He doesn't seem to have noticed you yet.


steal his iphone


steal his face


File: 1617914101184.png (98.45 KB, 765x609, impjak pickpocket.png)

You attempt to steal his iPhone, but to your surprise he doesn't have any pockets, and upon closer observation is violating public decency laws.


steal his camera and check the gallery


Omco comes out of nowhere, punches him in the face and says: "CRAZY HAMBURGER!".


File: 1617914671611.jpg (328.67 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

Oops. I forgot to put the image.


File: 1617914868411.png (33.75 KB, 655x433, impjak camera.png)

After maiming the Norwegian failer a little bit, you swipe his camcorder and begin scrolling through his photo gallery. You notice someone in one of the photos who looks familiar... could this be you from a past life?


film yourself with the camera and then leave it by the body


File: 1617915696546.png (41.67 KB, 416x315, impjak selfie.png)

You take a quick snap for the 'gram and leave the camera next to its previous owner.


return to the cabin and prepare an ambush for the next visitor


File: 1617916445651.png (28.23 KB, 640x480, soy trap.png)

You return to the campground cabin and device an ingenious trap to lure in unsuspecting visitors using a bottle of delicious and nutritious Soylent™


Lure in a group of soyjaks with a craigslist ad to feed your children






File: 1617959223144.jpg (29.83 KB, 600x547, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.jpg)



File: 1617991721076.png (110.29 KB, 545x448, impjak craigs.png)

You post an ad to craiglist offering free tours of your cabin. Now you lie in wait for unsuspecting 'jaks...


leave the door open and hide under the bed




File: 1618070832215.png (54.65 KB, 803x501, impjak hiding.png)

You lie under the bed in wait for unsuspecting soyjaks.


markiplier gives you a visit


I'm talking about the soyjak, not the real one.


feral you WILL soyjak gives you a visit


tony soprano soyjak gives you a visit


they instantly make a reddit party


File: 1618071339993.png (933.6 KB, 1954x1259, impjak plier.png)

Suddenly markiplier (yes, THE markiplier) shows up at your cabin.

Impjak: Holy moly! Markiplier???? I'm your biggest fan!


>Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to three scary games.
>Now the first one is called "Fingerboy Cabin". In this game we're checking out a cabin in the middle of the Capitol Reef National Park. Surely nothing could go wrong...


File: 1618074119574.png (193.3 KB, 1390x1296, Untitled-2.png)

Before you went to the adventure, you see a(n) U(WU)staša under the name "Croatian Bastard". Nothing is known about him and you find an image when he was normal.
Some Swedish sissy comes out of nowhere to call him in Swedish: "Damn Fascist."




File: 1618074518664.png (154.95 KB, 1390x1314, here.png)

>A, MA DAJ!!





Hrvatska ljepota.




Russian bot detected.


Ja ne znam hakirati :(


Za manje od troškova Big Maca, pomfrita i koka-kole možete kupiti pogaču svježeg kruha i malo dobrog sira ili pečene govedine u kojoj ćete uživati ​​puno više.


Sve to jedem.
Dobro bi mi došao jedan dobar štek.




File: 1618146251233.png (6.24 KB, 250x250, 1617848556816.png)

bumping out of necessity


File: 1618149533285.mp4 (17.73 MB, 1280x720, Swedish Adventure Simulato….mp4)

I turned this GEM of a thread into a video. Please don't die!


checked and blessed post




holy GEM what is the music that you used though?


Thanks for putting three of my ideas here.
I am using different device.


That's just background music from the first Pokemon games.


File: 1618152427554.jpg (89.05 KB, 726x960, 8c3.jpg)

Great video tho


I am used to the first generation


I am here




File: 1618155191110.jpg (454.82 KB, 1199x1199, smt_nocturne.jpg)



Whats the middle game under beard chad? It is illegible to me.


SMT 3 remastered wasn't much of a gem.


featuring Sneed from Sneed's Feed and Seed


and Omčo


File: 1618159831703-0.jpg (270.68 KB, 2500x1875, schizoplier arrives.jpg)

File: 1618159831703-1.jpg (233.85 KB, 2500x1875, schizoplier trapped.jpg)

You greet Markiplier as he walks in, but he appears not to hear you.
He begins speaking as though he is recording a wholesome gaming video.
Upon closer inspection, you notice that it is not Markiplier at all, but an escaped schizo from the Mental Asylum who merely thinks he's Markiplier.
"Markiplier"'s video intro abruptly cuts off when he notices the Soylent. He glides toward it, his hungry eyes telling of long solitary confinement sentences and heavy ration penalties.
As he grabs the Soylent, the box falls on the unwitting victim's head, trapping him.


seal the box shut, write "free soylent" on it, place it as bait outside the cabin, then wait


File: 1618161202565.png (769.95 KB, 1249x1137, terrorist.png)

Two strangers knock on your door. They present themselves as Green Bean and GigaPunisher.
They came to inform you that there is a terrorist under the name "Neo-Kim". He felt into gamma ration with Green Bean and became a mad scientist who keeps saying N-word.
They say that you are a good choice to stop him.


File: 1618161234931.jpg (184.79 KB, 1500x997, soylent trap.jpg)

You quickly secure the box with heavy-duty tape, taking no chances with this experienced escapee.
You pull the box outside the cabin and into the road, writing "Free Soylent" on it and posting another Craigslist ad.
Within minutes, the place is going to be crawling with hungry soy boys. It might be a good idea to prepare in some way before the inevitable stampede.


Say the n word




put a sign on the cabin that says "more samples inside".
then open the front door and hide behind it


File: 1618161810713.jpg (185.52 KB, 1500x997, impjak n word.jpg)

Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a bizarre, inexorable impulse to say the n word. It pushes out all other thoughts, the word is all you can think of.
You decide to say it, feeling relieved after letting it out. But this relief is quickly replaced by ice-cold dread, as you remember that saying the n word is a crime punishable by death in your native Sweden. The thought-monitoring anti hate speech microchip in your brain sends an instant execution order to Sweden's authorities. You can already hear the helicopters in the distance.
Now, along with the incoming soy boy stampede, the might of the Swedish law enforcement agencies is zeroing in on your location.



File: 1618162292104.jpg (58.62 KB, 1002x857, deus ex soy food.jpg)

Thanks, Chuds.

0:00 - Cerulean City/Fuchsia City (Fire Red/Leaf Green)
1:27 - Lavender Town (FRLG)
1:49 - Celadon City (FRLG)
2:19 - Trainer Battle (FRLG)
2:45 - Fortree City/Secret Base (Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald)
4:07 - Gym Leader Battle (RSE)
4:22 - Gym Leader Victory (RSE)
4:31 - Route 111 (RSE)
5:07 - Poké Mart (RSE)
5:28 - MiniMusicMan - Crazy La Paint (Markiplier's outro theme)
I'll update the video with a list of the music I've used at the end.


Pokémon needs to take a break and Metroid Prime 4 should be released. I would like it to have M rating just by having one scene.


File: 1618163713796.png (565.33 KB, 600x800, pokemon.png)


2017 was basically just "2016 is over".

Back then when making fun out of soy was truly special.


the soy is right though


Depends when it's fun and when it's annoyance.


holy heckin' kino


File: 1618164789117.jpg (92.98 KB, 644x800, 00b.jpg)

>the soy is right though


File: 1618164913770.png (35.61 KB, 359x410, soyak_looking_up_sigh.png)



is that a soyquote or your reaction when you see the filename?




Drill a hole in schizoplier's box and masturbate into it so some of your nut gets in his mouth


yikes making this into porn now are we?


File: 1618173431955.mp4 (23.42 MB, 1280x720, Swedish Adventure Simulato….mp4)

Updated version of >>69555 with the new lore:

I grew up with Gen 3. (´・ω・`)

Feel free to suggest other music. I'll also release a version without BGM and only the TTS.


lol tho


The [sic]s make me lolkeklmao


shut the fuck up child


File: 1618175371787.png (82.9 KB, 640x730, 777320.png)

>Uh that game is for children bro.


who the fuck are you quoting?


wait nvm tbh baka


I think it will allow a lot more fingerboys to be born quicker than just manually cranking them out 5 at a time if the jizm can take over the body of the schizo. Then the new brood of imp schizo fingerboys can fight the swedish government


File: 1618178931680.png (158.87 KB, 600x803, 7385430.png)


I just linked your video while shilling on 4chud


lol you used my markiplier gigachad edit


some serious gemage right here y'all


somebody needs to bump it. i'm banned for racism so i can't lol




>banned for racism
yikes, im glad they banned your bigot ass out


Bumping to protect from sproke and coal


File: 1618230340511-0.png (84.1 KB, 1194x795, impjak sign.png)

File: 1618230340511-1.png (57.38 KB, 881x750, impjak hiding 2.png)

Despite the mounting pressure, you maintain your cool and decide to plot your next course of action. Using some extra wood, you scrawl on the side of the cabin indicating that there are more samples inside the shack.

You notice that the sun is setting and night approaches. While this won't be a problem for you since you lack eyes, it will make navigating the park difficult should other nocturnal beasts of prey be wandering about. You decide to hide behind the cabin's ajar door in wait for any fingerboys, soyjaks, or law enforcement officers that might show up.


watch your bait carefully from the safety of your hiding spot


File: 1618240201130.png (42.49 KB, 700x469, impjak window.png)

You leave from your post behind the door. You can't see but you can smell that there is a pool of blood forming beneath the box you left outside, which seems strange as there are no fingerboys around.


order some fingerlings keep watch (specifically they should watch the skies for helicopters) while you creep outside and look inside the box


damn this has seriously got slow burn a24 type horror fells to it


hope they don't ruin it with a cheap jumpscare


Rai no Sho


bumping this absolute gem




File: 1618316269402.png (26.79 KB, 706x505, impjak box.png)

You order some juvenile fingerlings to keep watch of the cabin's perimeter while you creep outside to check the trap you laid out. Despite your enhanced hearing, you surprisingly detect no noise coming from the box, save the sound of pooling blood.


cut the cord and carefully open the box (make sure not to stand directly above the opening), then peek into it


bumping to prevent this gem from shitty sprokeposters


File: 1618325397691.png (32.2 KB, 573x409, soyboy scare.png)

You cautiously unsecure the trap and slowly lift open the lid of the box, when suddenly...


let out a bloodcurling fingerboy scream, then try to befriend jumpscareplier. you need his help against the law enforcement




File: 1618334672558.png (1.97 MB, 1500x997, impjak scream.png)

You let loose a guttural screech. To your surprise, schizoplier remains unmoving. It seems likely that he is dead. You wonder what could have caused his sudden and unexplained blood loss.


File: 1618334699736.png (329.42 KB, 815x720, f31.png)

GigaPunisher comes out of nowhere to help you.


You see the Soyjak head that the Fingermother spat out earlier >>66310
, it's making a subtle humming noise and has a blue aura around it


File: 1618336838626.png (38.82 KB, 287x176, jotamic.png)

Before you go to sleep, some man comes out of nowhere to kill you for killing his uncle.


soyfuck fucking suckcs


File: 1618337265287.jpg (16.96 KB, 600x600, 040.jpg)

That wasn't nice.


File: 1618342913443.png (29.61 KB, 697x466, impjak spirit.png)

Suddenly, a wild floating soyjak head appears. You recognize it as the one that was spat out alongside you by the fingerboy matriarch. A strange blue aura surrounds it, and you can make out the faint sound of static.
>hmmmmhemmmhememmm... *brzzz*- zip thank you listeners, for tuning in to the British Broadcasting B-*errrzip*

What could it mean?


attempt to communicate but carefully


You should try some suggestions that aren't just "random character comes out of nowhere"
Think of something that would actually take the story somewhere and makes sense based on the existing lore


File: 1618343790659.png (347.41 KB, 559x1245, soyjak arm.png)

Before you can say anything, the strange entity opens its elongated mouth from which an arm begins to protrude. Wait... could it be?


File: 1618343955507.png (73.82 KB, 1054x1616, the doctor.png)

It's... it's... it's Doctor Soyowicz!!!!


ask for his assistance against the swedish law enforcement


File: 1618346108027.png (792.2 KB, 900x506, soyshake.png)

Impboy: Doctor Soyowicz??? What are you doing here?
Soyowicz: Ach, nein! My experiment vas a failure! Ze patient in ze box had escaped ze asylum. Vhen I tried to adminizter ze remote BBC therapy it destroyed hiz eardrumz!
Impboy: So that's what happened! But... wait, why were you in that head?
Soyowicz: Ah! It was mein reconnaizzance vezzel! It emits ze BBC frequenzies!
Impboy: But why were you in the fingermother's stomach earlier?
Soyowicz: Ach! Much to mein embarrassment, I vas caught by ze fingerboys vhen I entered ze park. Danke for coming along and saving me, mein little wormy friend!
Impboy:No problemo, friendo! Say, how about you and I team up? I might be expecting some unfriendly visitors later and could use the backup.
Soyowicz: Zay no more, mein comorade! I vill assist you in ze upcoming battle, and perhaps acquire new patients for testing!

Doctor Soyowicz has joined your party


you need to enlist more allies before the battle.
jump into the head and take off before the helicopters arrive


Isn't this thread near the bump limit? if it is let's make a new thread when it hits the limit.


Soot, raise the bump limit


but wouldnt it be so heckin nice to have a fresh new thread for such an important part of the story though?



yes seether


Now impjak posts this on his twitter anime porn retweet account he is too afraid to keep public for more than one day at a time. Schizophrenically switching between public and private.


checked but you are a retard


File: 1618357527130.png (42.59 KB, 1790x1436, soy map.png)

Together, with Doctor Soyowicz, you hop into his Nuclear-Infused Gyrating Gizmo Embarkment Relocation v.5 (or NIGGER5 for short) and take off in search of additional allies for the upcoming battle. You instruct your fingerlings to stand guard of the cabin until you return.

Choose your destination. (feel free to choose any other location in the southwest not listed)




Las Soygas


lol this thread has a higher quality than every thread on qa right now combined


File: 1618358132221.png (3.02 MB, 1573x1065, soyjak vegas.png)

You arrive with Doctor Soyowicz in the fabulous Las Soygas.


Fail to overcome gambling urges and enter the nearest indian-owned casino


shit, I forgot the change the sign.



File: 1618368298473.png (2.77 MB, 1573x1065, soyjak vegas.png)



bumping this gem


Thanks, kid.


File: 1618400629336.png (2.07 MB, 1409x830, impjak casino.png)

You and Doctor Soyowicz enter the first casino you see. You are greeted by an indigenous man at the entrance. He asks you to please put on your mask to help save lives and stop the spread of COVID-19.


King of the Hill


better do as he says if you want to maintain your good relations with soyowicz.

try to look around for allies in the casino


lol i do this


File: 1618402155129.png (140.57 KB, 1805x765, impjak casino 2.png)

Knowing that it will please the herr doctor, you don your mask in agreement with casino policy. The two of you make your way over to the craps table in search of allies.


try to explain your situation to the dealer, and try not to sound like a schizo


File: 1618402973661.png (1.46 MB, 908x643, trump casino.png)

You approach the dealer and inform him of your situation. You tell him that you're looking for allies in your fight against the Swedish police force and rival fingerboy hordes, but before you can finish your sentence he cuts you off.

The D: Impboy, was it? Let me tell you, I've come across a lot of fingerboys in the past. A lot, let me tell you. They can be nasty, but you seem alright.
The D: That's right, impboy, it's me. Your president, Donald J. Trump.
Impboy: But... what are you doing here??
The D: Didn't you read the sign? This is the Trump Casino and Resort Las Vegas, sweetie. The best, let me tell you. I'm working here undercover while operation Shadow President is underway. Very top secret, let me tell you.
Impboy: That's amazing! So will you join us in our quest?
The D: Of course, just let me wrap things up here, folks.


next up you'll want to enlist the aid of the indians in the reservation. go there


Before Trump became a lolcow. I wish he was cool.


File: 1618412016062.png (368.34 KB, 529x637, soyak_tranny_balding_insan….png)



I am 19-year-old, still have my genitals and I don't wanna be a tranny.


File: 1618416634607.png (50.41 KB, 1784x1434, soy map 2.png)

You hop back in the NIGGER5 with Doctor Soyowicz and begin your journey to the Navajo Indian Reservation. Trump tells you that he will meet the two of you at Capitol Reef National Park after he finishes decoding another message from his loyal compatriot, Q.


File: 1618418023583.png (152.26 KB, 1100x1100, soyak_dies_at_hospital_cry….png)

>>>71556 (You)
>I am 19-year-old, still have my genitals and I don't wanna be a tranny.


File: 1618418335212.jpg (34.15 KB, 461x394, zoomie_wojak_soy_edited_mo….jpg)

>lets fucking goooo


make small talk with soyowicz on the way


I would trust this man to massage my wife


Remove glasses, shave a beard with few hairs and unoil a hair which can cover my forehead and you have me.


File: 1618425220507.png (1.01 MB, 908x643, fum.png)

However, a shadowy figure appears out of nowhere telling Trump where is Impjak.
Trump doesn't want to say it even if it costs life so he tells the figure: "Fuck you, dude. I won't betray him."
The shadowy figure replies with: "Very well."
The shadowy figure kills Trump, but the figure did hear him talking about Capitol Reef National Park so the figure goes there.


Why is he still in the casino tho


Wait nvm I'm retarded I forgot trump didn't get in NIGGER5


File: 1618427544680.png (148.21 KB, 1678x901, impjak talk.png)

You and Doctor Soyowicz have a little heart-to-heart on the way to the reservation.

Impboy: How did you manage to escape from the mental asylum, doctor?
Soyowicz: Ach, it vas my greatest idea yet! Using advanced BBC treatment, I vas able to trick the guards into believing zat I vas the deceased doctor Soyberg. Zey transported mein body to ze dead jakker pile, vhere I was able to craft my latest creation, the NIGGER5 that ve are inside of now, out of a deceased patient.


File: 1618428178171.png (57.64 KB, 483x641, sprokerd.png)





push the BBC therapy button when soyowicz isn't looking




bku o gem


Oh, crud. I thought he didn't come with them.


Let's keep this thread alive.


File: 1618434366577.png (964.13 KB, 1479x920, mon.png)




File: 1618438729682.jpg (24.25 KB, 401x487, 1596749708319.jpg)

What is this gem doing outside of page 1?


he looks like a NPC



nigga y did u delete


File: 1618443313364-0.png (5.67 KB, 161x258, indian.png)

File: 1618443313364-1.gif (438.71 KB, 250x400, indian3.gif)

File: 1618443313364-2.gif (348.2 KB, 250x400, indian2.gif)

here is my indian character again


lol i do this


kek I’m using these


emergency bumping


>emergency bumping


File: 1618466123429.jpg (23.3 KB, 640x334, IMG_20200825_042904.jpg)

Bumping this absolute gem of a thread


File: 1618477774095.png (181.48 KB, 800x800, 0e040f4e46db6c3ac9844e384c….png)

Native. American.




Wow chud. This isnt even a microagression this is full blown bigotry. Educate yourself on minorities' struggle mayo.


Indigenous, sweetie.


File: 1618480666096.jpg (35.26 KB, 575x568, 1617607016097.jpg)

Abbo, mate!


File: 1618484038133.png (17.54 KB, 1241x636, impjak button.png)

When the doctor isn't looking, you press the button labelled "BBC Therapy." Suddenly, the entire machine begins to whirr up and rumble uncontrollably.

Soyowicz: Ach, nein! Vhat have you done, you mischievous little 'jak??


Shit in both your hands


lol i was writing something very elaborate just as you posted that but i think your idea was better then mine.


I'm glad you appreciate my eye for tactics


after doing so
cover your body with shit



bump limit?


gem though


File: 1618492497049.png (172.65 KB, 1549x885, impjak poop.png)

You panic as the machines around you begin malfunctioning. You poop in your hands to relieve the stress. Soyowicz does not seem pleased

Soyowicz: Vhat are you doing???
Impboy: It's an anxiety thing, doctor, everybody's moving so fast all of a sudden, it freaks me out. Pooping gives me control. It's a thing!


brace yourself for the emergency landing


File: 1618514967249.png (60.4 KB, 600x600, finalboss.png)

After a while, some figure comes out of nowhere. Showing a face of a 30-year-old virgin wearing some kind of an alien suit.







What does this retard get out of making these posts?


I just wanna participate in a story and I find this thread one awesome gem.


You can participate, but none of it will be canon until you come up with something that makes some sort of sense within the existing story instead of random characters appearing out of nowhere


Aw, man.


Anyways, keep this gem going.


File: 1618520070639-0.png (244.91 KB, 761x673, impjak sproke.png)

File: 1618520070639-1.png (73.08 KB, 401x782, soyowicz rip.png)

You begin vomiting sproke to form a protective cocoon around you as the ship goes down. Doctor Soyowicz is impaled by numerous pieces of glass and metal.


Try to figure out where the ship will crash/has crashed


Literally crying and shaking rn. I can't believe Soyowicz is dead




holy fuck i cant fucking fuck believe hes dead.


wtf, i would say it's too early for him to die but this story isnt paced like a traditional story


File: 1618530701565.png (3.08 MB, 1398x949, impjak forest.png)

You wake up hours later from within your cocoon. It seems you have strayed off course and crash landed in Petrified Forest National Park. Doctor Soyowicz's whereabouts are unknown.


cut open the cocoon and go search for soyowicz. he might still be alive


File: 1618531424907.png (16.97 KB, 697x466, impjak park.png)

You claw open your brittle sproke cocoon and begin navigating the park in search of Doctor Soyowicz. Hours pass without sign of him and you worry it may grow dark soon. Despite the urgency of your quest, you can't help but admire the splendor of nature before you. Truly, Allah's (PBUH) creations are a sight to behold.


you need to seek shelter before nightfall. use your fingerboy claws to tunnel into the soil. maybe you can find something buried there as well


File: 1618533390150.jpg (180.79 KB, 640x590, STOP IT!!! soy.jpg)





File: 1618533763990.jpg (97.56 KB, 265x435, soy7.jpg)



Since soot was kind enough to sticky this thread, I thought I'd give anyone joining in a rundown on what our boy has been up to thus far:
>eats a mosque and then his house
>travels to Capitol Reef National Park
>amputates his leg and dies in a drug-fueled stupor
>is reincarnated as a tapeworm inside the belly of a fingerboy mother
>assumes direct control over a fingerboy hatchling
>becomes an impboy
>travels to a campground cabin and is visited by some peculiar characters
>viscously assaults a norwegian tourist
>springs a trap on a schizo and holds him hostage
>says the n-word, notifying swedish police to his location
>links up with Doctor Soyowicz (need it or keep it?)
>travels with Doctor Soyowicz to Las Soygas
>meets Donald Trump
>travels to Indian reservation but causes a malfunction in Doctor Soyowicz's ship
>crash lands in Petrified Forest National Park (you are here)

Hope this helps.




Abridged and soulless, read the full version and not this


File: 1618574889887.png (108.49 KB, 1141x999, impjak hole.png)

Using your serrated fingers, you tunnel deep into the Earth in search of shelter. The sediment becomes harder to burrow through the further down you go, but perhaps if you dig deeper you can discover something valuable.


File: 1618574992483.png (16.79 KB, 792x800, minecraft.png)

This is just like heckin' Minecraft!


impjak discovers a lost soylent mine.


Soylent does not come from mines, take your meds


File: 1618578013250.png (60.14 KB, 659x566, impjak mine.png)

oh shi-


The soy mine will release a large stream of soy. Place the mine behind you (towards the entrance of the hole) so that the soy stream pushes you further and deeper into the earth.


Gotta admit it, I hate niggers.


Do you use words they popularised?




Day of the reparations soon cracker


File: 1618594709419.png (63.76 KB, 659x566, impjak SOYED.png)

You swiftly grab the mine with your left hand. You don't know enough about explosives to disarm it, but you using your deduction skills, you believe you could use the mine to proper yourself deeper into the earth. Unfortunately, you aren't quick enough to get it into position and it releases right into your face.

The hole you dug begins to fill with soylent.


you attempt to drink it all, you haven't chugged soylent in a while but it's worth a try


File: 1618596132766.png (109.31 KB, 1141x999, impjak SOYED 2.png)

You drink the delicious Soylent™. The hole is empty. You sit at the bottom of the hole, safely out of harm's way.

Unfortunately, the mine still has some juice in it, and begins refilling the hole. What would you like to do?


Go to sleep happy that you have been blessed with a source of high-protein sustenance


File: 1618608019194.png (22 KB, 1500x1000, impboy swimming in soylent.png)

You go to sleep, untroubled by the rising soylent level, and dream blissful dreams about soylent consumtion.

As you wake up, you find yourself floating in a sea of soylent. The national park appears to have been completely flooded by the soylent mine.
You can feel a slight northward current.


Grab mine and throw it outside the hole


Which flavour


File: 1618609851284.png (86.16 KB, 1500x1000, impboy swimming 2.png)

You taste the soylent. It's cacao flavoured.
Your favourite (wholesome!).

It feels like the current is getting stronger.


Cocoa? Damn, I grew out of it after tasting it as a beverage.
Still, I never tried Soylent because it's not in our stores, at least in my city.


What if Impjak's phone got destroyed in a liquid of Soylent?


File: 1618612613860.png (145.13 KB, 1000x2250, impboy whirlpool.png)

You take out your phone to snap a pic for the 'gram, only to find that it's broken. You can't tell whether it happened during the crash or the flood.

As you look up from the broken phone, you see that the current has brought you to a whirlpool. At this point the current is too strong for you to fight back, and you're dragged into the depths. Before losing consciousness, you can feel that you're being dragged through some kind of tunnel.

When you wake up, you find yourself in some kind of sewer.
Strange. No one should be living in the national park.


Climb up the platform, then cautiously analyze the area, and try to hear what's behind door 4




File: 1618613863970.png (65.04 KB, 600x600, impboy eavesdrop.png)

You climb onto the platform. This area seems calm enough. The platform extends quite far in both directions. You think you can see more doors in the distance.

You try to hea what's on the other side of the door.
Upon pressing your ear (swedish win btw) against the door, you hear the rythmic noise of some kind of machinery. Additionally, you think you can hear distant sounds of rattling metal and raving screams.


Slightly open the door and peek inside


Let me know if you want me to continue. Sorry for being so inconsistent in my schedule, I've been busy this week.


File: 1618615945937.png (46.41 KB, 1000x750, impboy room.png)

You carefully open the door slightly, and peek inside. The coast seems clear, and you decide to enter.

Upon entering, you find the source of the machine noise - some kind of water pump.
At the far end of the room, you see a pipe lying in what looks like a pool of blood. There's also a piece of plastic on the ground.
The door at the far end is open.

no problems. I'm think I'm gonna give up for the day pretty soon


go through the door


File: 1618617340845.png (47.93 KB, 1000x750, impboy room2.png)

As you pass through the already open door, the way splits into three. The blood trail seems to lead into the middle route.

The sound of screams and rattling metal is getting louder. You can make out a few words:
>...will NOT...
>...doctor say...


you decide to take a brief guac break, taking a bowl and scarfing down handfuls of guac


File: 1618618264867.png (45.1 KB, 903x550, sad impboy.png)

Joyfully, you get ready to devour some guacs'.
The next moment, disappointment hits, as you realise that your entire supply of guacs' was lost to the soylent deluge.

Suddenly, you hear voices approaching. You must quickly choose a course of action.


you decide to fly(?) or glide(?) to the ceiling and hold on to whatever is up there, to observe what comes in without it seeing you


File: 1618620053588.png (114.19 KB, 1000x750, impboy hiding.png)

You gracefully swoop onto the ceiling just as two white clad soyjaks enter the room. You hear the them talking:
>You found him, Dr. Soyswedeson?
>Ja, Dr. Sprokeberg. He didn't mäyk it far. Vi found him sneaking around in ward 4. He had harmed himself on some mätal debris, and häd to be admitted to ward 5 får emergency cäre.
>How did he hide from us for so long though? I thought we had searched ward 4 already?
After performing this strange ritual for a few minutes, the one called Dr. Sprokeberg seems to capitulate, asking:
>By the way, Dr. Soyswedeson. How is that ear doing?
>Very väll, my fränd! Ever since de operation, I've had excellent hearing!
After finishing their conversation, the shorter one enters the staircase, while the taller one follows the hallway to the left. You are alone again.


You feel Nostalgic, a fellow Swede is nearby, you decide to follow Soyswedeson and consider trying to find help with him.


don't know bout y'all but this lore is litty


fr though




By the way, Dr. Nigger. How is that ear doing?


File: 1618620980590.png (18.09 KB, 1000x750, impboy hallway.png)

I'm gonna take a break now. If the original OP wants to take back the reins, that would be great.

You climb the stairs.

As you exit the stairwell, you find yourself in a long hallway, which appears to be lined with holding cells.
At the far end of the hallway, you can see an open passage. Did the Swedish doctor walk there?


you decide to continue down the passage, but before that you take a peek inside the second cell on the right side of the hallway.


File: 1618621418354.png (36.17 KB, 708x800, 1597958592458.png)

Pretty good actua-AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH


File: 1618622672447-0.png (17.81 KB, 999x444, impjak hallway.png)

File: 1618622672447-1.png (23.04 KB, 1021x695, impjak subject.png)

I gotcha fam. Thanks for the help!

You continue further down the corridor, however, something catches your attention in the second cell on the right. A strange, pale creature seems to be cradling itself in the corner of the room.


You decide it's a good idea to vomit the remaining sproke in your body on the patient


carefully approach and offer him soylent as a sign of peace


File: 1618624477928.png (25.82 KB, 1027x644, impjak spit.png)

You try vomiting up the last remaining sproke stored in your digestive system, but unfortunately it is not enough to reach the patient.


You get mad at wasting the last of your Sproke reserves, you decide to test out the ritual you heard earlier, you say "what's up though" to the patient.


I'll be back tomorrow y'all. Hopefully I'll be less busy this weekend.


Loled out loud to this


File: 1618660731280.png (155.01 KB, 1104x761, impjak thougher.png)

With your sproke reserves emptied and your belongings lost in the deluge, you are left with few options. Having studied the strange interaction between the two uniformed men from earlier, you whisper a phrase through the bars of the cell.

Impboy: What's up, though?
[no response]
Impboy: I said what's up, tho-


you slowly turn around, asking
>who is this though?


File: 1618662460336.png (1.04 MB, 723x1200, impjak btfo.png)

Impjak: Who is this th-


as your consciousness fades away, you slip into feverish dreams


File: 1618664234727.png (38.01 KB, 859x547, impjak bruised.png)

As your consciousness fades, you feel the life being drained from within you. Suddenly, you find yourself in a frightening, yet familiar place.


try to make sense of the situation. the white robed men, the strange underground building, the belligerent inmates.

have you been here before?


File: 1618665227959-0.png (26.43 KB, 820x546, impjak thinking.png)

File: 1618665227959-1.png (35.16 KB, 818x547, impjak hand.png)

You halt your panicking and try your best to analyze the situation you're in. The men in white uniforms from earlier... the hidden complex you're in now... the strange, malformed inmates... what could it mean?

Suddenly, as if to snap you out of your daze, a hand appears out of the darkness.


grab hold of the hand and drag yourself out


File: 1618666364636-0.png (31.85 KB, 859x547, impjak hand 2.png)

File: 1618666364636-1.png (756.83 KB, 768x938, impjak btfo 2.png)

Before you can grab hold of the hand, it grabs you. And then suddenly...


it's incredible that you're still alive after all these beatings. it must be because of your inhuman fingerboy physique.

as you know he can break walls, you try to trick him into breaking the wall into cell 096.
your only hope at this point is to make the two patients fight each other




the thread do be autosaged


it's actually stickied and on page 1.

for some reason stickied threads still fall to the bottom of the catalog


Go outside and get a life.


File: 1618687564910-0.jpg (18.39 KB, 308x497, mask not fit soyjack.jpg)

File: 1618687564910-1.jpg (132.53 KB, 900x1200, 1594060743613.jpg)

File: 1618687564910-2.png (24.05 KB, 600x800, mark10.png)

>Go outside and get a life.


Yap, thi is me lol


File: 1618688949298-0.png (131.12 KB, 319x594, impjak injured.png)

File: 1618688949298-1.png (79.44 KB, 887x592, impjak wall.png)

Although heavily injured, your heightened fingerboy durability allows you to tank the musclebound thougher's blows.

Knowing that you can't beat the monster alone, you use your wits and agility to trick the thougher into breaking patient 096's cell wall, freeing him.


damn you're pretty ripped bro ngl


climb into 096's cell keeping your eyes closed, forcing the thougher to gaze upon soy-096 if he tries to pursue you


File: 1618696821120-0.png (124.28 KB, 1313x761, impjak wall 2.png)

File: 1618696821120-1.png (13.52 KB, 443x620, patient 096.png)

You flee into the cell, but the monstrous thougher follows you. All seems hopeless until-



jump upwards with all haste


File: 1618698081590.png (754.47 KB, 1307x777, impjak fight.png)

You duck for cover as the two behemoths square off. The shockwaves from their battle rattle the entire facility, alerting the guards.


you notice that sometimes the two patients seem to resemble japanese cartoons which are illegal in sweden due to being pedophilia, you decide to make your way into the hallway so you won't get in the crossfire


File: 1618699766786-0.png (86.01 KB, 1026x746, impjak limp.png)

File: 1618699766786-1.png (354.12 KB, 2609x1497, swolesome run.png)

You stumble out of the room into the ward 4 hallway while the two are busy fighting each other. You heart someone approaching from down the hall.



*You hear someone


Sweden is based??


Duck out of his way, a roided-up 'jak crashing into you is the last thing you need right now


Will the fact it's sticky save it? It's about to die at the bottom of the page.


*bottom of the catalogue


File: 1618701271553.png (107.51 KB, 1045x935, impjak captured.png)

You try to hide from the incoming orderly, but your injuries hamper your agility and the wholesome hunk catches you with ease.

Swolesome: Mmmmmmmm, fresh fingerboy! This will go great with my impossible whopp! But what's this? Oh no, the poor guy is injured. Bruised meat would ruin my ruin my diet. Hmmmm... what to do?

(also swolesome is natty)


*Bruised meat would ruin my diet.

Sorry y'all, I'm making a lot of grammatical errors.


yeah, it's safe


Swolesome soyjak feeds you whey protein to heal your mangled body


Make small talk with swolesome soyjak and ask him where exactly are you


File: 1618746860859-0.png (24.61 KB, 348x203, impjak whey.png)

File: 1618746860859-1.png (66.4 KB, 1500x1000, impjak healed.png)

Swolesome: Here little buddy, have some of my whey protein. I have a spoonful leftover from my pre-workout.

Miraculously, your wounds begin to heal and you find your strength returning. You've even got washboard abs!

You ask swolesome if he still plans on eating you. He thinks about it for a moment before answering.

Swolesome: No, little buddy, it looks like you've had a rough enough day as it is. Besides, I've got to restrain the patients in the other room. I can't do that if I'm carrying around an FB. At least not without breaking a sweat!

Swolesome rushes down the hall to break up the fight between the two escaped patients. You are all by yourself again.


Now your strength is regained, try spooging out some fingerlings. If they can avoid Swolesome and other individuals that may eat or harm them, they could provide useful reconnaissance.


File: 1618747979851.png (96.49 KB, 1140x736, impjak orders.png)

With your strength restored and your sproke reserves replenished, you have all the energy you need to splooge out some fingerlings for reconnaissance. You give the four runts orders to scout the building and report back to you. In the meantime, you decide to do some exploring of your own. Down the hall is the ward 4 offices, while further back from where you came is the ward 5 medical wing, al>though that would require sneaking past swolesome and the two escaped patients.


File: 1618757318919.webm (17.2 MB, 500x500, ultimate soy rage.webm)

>"impboy"? fucking seriously? wouldnt "fingersoy" sound better?


play it safe by going to the offices first. the swedish doctor might be willing to listen to your predicament


Zlatan Ibrahimović




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         |    `´     `'    |
        /  '       ':::::::ヽ、
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       |       ,,ノ(、_, )ヽ、,, .:::.   |    
       ',       `-=ニ=- ' .:::::::   |
       ヽ      `ニニ´  .::::    /
         \__          /
     ,. ' ´ ̄           < ̄
    /   r-r‐、           ヽ
   /    (ヽ \ y(\   ` ヽ、 ,ー―- 、
   |     f\\\ヽ ヽ:::::::..... \      ヽ、
   |       \ 'ー(  }(ー;;)、:::.  ヽ     ::::`....-、
   |       |\  ' ノ::::`´:::::::   ',      ::::::r'
   |       | / ´   |:::::::::::     |     ` :::::!
   |    ,. -―‐'     |       人       Y
   |  /         i      /  ヽ、    /
   | /          ,'__,. '"      `ト-'"
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      >――'´          fト、   {
    /                `''    i


          ,、             ,、
         l \          / l
         |   \   __ /  |
         |    `´     `'    |
        /  '       ':::::::ヽ、
       /    (●),   、(●)、.   ',    
       |       ,,ノ(、_, )ヽ、,, .:::.   |    
       ',       `-=ニ=- ' .:::::::   |
       ヽ      `ニニ´  .::::    /
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i decapitated it lol


File: 1618775150544.png (88.53 KB, 1028x750, impjak office.png)

You head to the ward 4 offices. You run into the man you saw earlier in the pump station. The two of you stand in silence, neither daring to move, until finally the white-robed man says to you:

Soyswedeson: Are you a patient? You are not wearing any clothes. Although swolesome does not weär clothes either...

How do you respond?


Impjak says: I'm a Swede as well, I came here looking for Dr. Soyowicz


Imagine trying to explain this image to someone


It would already take a while to explain an impish soyak being reincarnated as a tapeworm by a schizo and taking over a fingerboys body.


File: 1618780461370.png (91.42 KB, 1028x750, impjak office 2.png)

You inform the doctor that you are a swede. He asks you to prove it, and you recite the beautiful and inspiring national hymn of Sweden:
~Spiderswede, Spiderswede,
~Spends his days, forcing memes
~Posts a fail, any time,
~Evading bans like it's a crime
~Look Out!
~Here comes the Spiderswede.

~Is he strong?
~Listen men,
~He's got a million VPNs.
~Can he make a shitty thread
~Take a look overhead
~Hey, there
~There goes the Spiderswede.

The doctor rubs a tear from his eye. It has been so long since he has visited his homeland that he had forgotten the enchanting language of his native Sweden.

Soyswedeson: Älright, Impböy, how can I help you?
Impboy: Well, doctor Soyswedeson, I'm looking for a friend of mine who is also a doctor. His name is Soyowicz, have you seen him?

Upon hearing this, the squat doctor falls silent again. Something is clearly wrong.


ask him about ward 5 and if soyowicz is there


File: 1618781010137.png (94.08 KB, 1028x750, impjak office 3.png)

You continue pestering the doctor about the whereabouts of Doctor Soyowicz. You ask if he's being held in ward 5. The doctor drops his sproke at the mention of ward 5. He looks visibly nervous.


Intimidate him for answers.


pick up the sproke for him as a friendly and disarming gesture


I will love to post this out of contecst in 3 years and make everyone confused and think I'm a looney.


I'm an extreme newfag, how the fuck did shitty wojak edits spiral into an entire imageboard with a wiki dedicated to soylore?


autism and retards trying to stop it giving it power.




File: 1618785093212.png (117.12 KB, 676x1021, Soy51.png)

this thread is one of the best things to happen to this site in a while


File: 1618789793513-0.png (93.27 KB, 1028x750, impjak knife.png)

File: 1618789793513-1.png (101.11 KB, 1028x750, impjak coma.png)

Increasingly irritated by the doctor's refusal to cooperate, you decide that it's time for some more serious "convincing." You pull out your trust pocket knife and begin barking orders. The doctor starts sweating even more profusely, and before you can get any answers out of him he falls to the ground with a thud, knocking himself unconscious.



tie him up (gently and carefully since he's a fellow swede) and disguise yourself using his coat and ID badge


File: 1618836237590.png (76.79 KB, 1027x750, impjak doctor.png)

You tie up the now comatose doctor (making sure to be extra gentle to your fellow swede as a courtesy), but not before donning his doctor's gown and ID badge as a disguise. You leave the foreverial tiedup soyswedeson propped up against the wall with his sproke as you plot your next course of action.


Try to check on the fingerlings you expelled earlier, they might have some useful info


File: 1618837399727-0.png (88.96 KB, 1027x750, impjak doctor 2.png)

File: 1618837399727-1.png (11.41 KB, 787x361, asylum map.png)

Three of your fingerlings return. They report the findings from their scouting mission, from which you construct a mental map. The fourth fingerling apparently hasn't returned from Ward 2.


Go to the Administration but take a peek at ward 2 before doing so


Lol I'm so used to not replying to soijak


File: 1618845376473.png (73.78 KB, 1027x750, impjak fridge.png)

You head down to administration through ward 3, but run into another doctor in the ward 3 offices. The doctor looks quite displeased about something.

Sprokeberg: Ah, Dr. Soyswedeson, there you are! Have you seen my last sproke? I could have sworn I left it right here in the fridge. Wait a minute, something seems different about you...


Make up a cover story about meds overflowing into the sproke supply and causing hallucinations


File: 1618847413186.png (75.71 KB, 1027x750, impjak fridge 2.png)

You improvise a cover story about meds overflowing into the sproke vat, causing hallucinations. At this accusation, Sprokeberg raises an eyebrow.

Sprokeberg: Causing hallucinations? Who do you think you're talking to? I invented Sproke, it can't cause hallucinations even when taken with meds. It was invented to be administered with meds, in fact. And besides, I haven't had my daily Sproke today, weren't you paying attention?

Dr. Sprokeberg seems very suspicious now.


repeat what Sprokeberg said in a mocking tone while holding up a schizojak drawing


SoySwedeson looks like he came from that Hobbit cartoon.


File: 1618852097238.png (129.17 KB, 600x800, nigger41.png)

do you plan on making a part 2 to the youtube video soon?


I look like this.


you don'tlook like that


you will never be a sneedwholesomeimpjak


You wish you looked like that


File: 1618872676359.png (109.75 KB, 1038x776, ClipboardImage.png)


File: 1618904355721.gif (4.77 MB, 500x477, Impish dance party Ears.gif)



no one does this




File: 1618933794283.png (79.14 KB, 598x800, impish sad.png)



File: 1618934631808.png (82.15 KB, 518x688, 64658485645.PNG)

I killed both of the Impjak adventure guys.


File: 1618935907141.png (431.86 KB, 1000x2250, doctor duel.png)

You scribble an artistic rendition of Dr. Sprokeberg, and write down what he said next to it. You hold it up in front of him while mockingly enunciating the words.

At first, he seems taken back by your display.
However, he soon composes himself.

>Heh, I see you still got it, Dr. Soyswedeson. Don't expect an easy win though!

The next moment, he starts scribbling furiously on a piece of cardboard. Moments later, he shows it to you.
On the cardboard is a depiction of your face, accompanied with your quotation of him.

How do you respond?


Pull a piece of card board out and quote him again, and slap a piece of paper on it that says >though


File: 1618937476562.jpg (8.42 KB, 214x236, Soy43.jpg)



File: 1618938067830.gif (1.11 MB, 1087x1200, 1618792437765.gif)



blessed thread


have you been busy lately impjak adventure creators?


File: 1618958283782-0.png (72.85 KB, 1026x748, impjak board 1.png)

File: 1618958283782-1.png (66.73 KB, 1026x749, impjak board 2.png)

You pull out another piece of cardboard and begin quoting Dr. Sprokeberg again, when suddenly an announcement comes on over the intercom.

According to Buzzfeed.com and independent fact checkers on Snopes, Derek Chauvin has just been found guilty for the murder of humble community leader, George Floyd. You and Dr. Sprokeberg both take a knee to honor Floyd's memory in solidarity with the brave members of the jury.

Yeah, sorry. My schedule is a little hectic lately.


ah jeez I messed up impjak's arm in the second panel


seems like your friendly duel has cleared sprokeberg's suspeicions.

tell him that soyowicz needs to be brought to Administration for some paperwork (because of his failed escape attempt)


nigger though



File: 1618987119117-0.gif (512.55 KB, 299x400, swede1.gif)

File: 1618987119117-1.gif (530.9 KB, 299x400, swede2.gif)

File: 1618987119117-2.gif (250 KB, 299x400, swede3.gif)



File: 1619002782175.png (85.6 KB, 1026x748, impjak talking.png)

With Sprokeberg's suspicions quelled, you falsely inform him that patient Soyowicz needs to be brought to Administration for some paperwork because of his failed escape attempt.

Sprokeberg falls for your bluff and points you to the elevator down the hall. He also asks if while you're up there you can see if the head doctor has seen his missing sproke.


Don't go up the lift. Reunite with the three fingerlings from earlier and work together to find the forth missing fingerling from Ward 2.


File: 1619003928366.png (101.96 KB, 1027x750, impjak hall 2.png)

Before you take the lift to administration, you decide to check out ward 2 first in search of the missing fingerling. Your three other fingerling helpers greet you at the entrance.

The lights appear to be off in ward 2, and a strange, otherworldly presence can be felt in the air.



On a serious note, put the three fingerlings in your pocket. You don't want to lose them like the other one. Plus this way it's easier to protect them (you are family after all). Slowly proceed, feeling the wall for a potential light switch.


File: 1619006007958-0.png (91.64 KB, 1027x750, impjak pocket.png)

File: 1619006007958-1.png (82.98 KB, 726x467, impjak hugging wall.png)

Before progressing down the hallway, you place the fingerling trio into your pocket to keep them safe.

The hallway is even darker the further down you walk, and you begin hugging the wall in order not to get lost. You feel around for a light switch with no luck.


Yikes bros this is getting bone chilling
Use your sensitive Swedish ears to focus your hearing, maybe you'll hear the missing fingerling's near-inaudible distress screeches




Where tf are the Swedish police what's taking them so long


lol I think everyone forgot about that segment of the plot.


They can't track impboy while he's underground


File: 1619033141967.jpg (18.6 KB, 620x332, 6225d82c3ef26eb2d2f3ecdc9b….jpg)

You see the stairs leading to what it looks like undeground stairs hospital (or whatever) hasn't mentioned.

(Chud's note: I ain't sure if this counts as canon because I am not a good story teller and I downloaded the image on the phone. It was supposed to be SCP-87 and I say it because I ain't sure if you can escape it.


that ain't really how the story work you're supposed to tell OP what impjak will do next, the images and what happens next is up to the OP


File: 1619033581960.png (70.5 KB, 676x386, impjak hearing.png)

You use your superswedish hearing to listen for the missing fingerling's distress screeches, only to be met by dead silence.

Suddenly, a faint noise breaks the silence.


Oh, thanks.


instinctively reply to the whisper with "take your meds schizo"


File: 1619035266286-0.png (54.04 KB, 688x470, impjak meds.png)

File: 1619035266286-1.png (110.32 KB, 1000x750, impjak chud.png)

Being a "doctor", you tell what you assume to be a patient to take his meds. To this you hear a faint reply "you will never be a real woman."

Out of the darkness steps a horribly disfigured creature. You've only read about these since their mere presence is forbidden in your native Sweden, but you believe this to be a bigoted, incel chud.


YIKES. You ought to tell him how problematic and toxic his ideology is, but not before asking him about the missing fingerling


His skin is becoming yellower and his hair purpler. You fear that letter N comes on his forehead like he is about to say THE N-WORD!


File: 1619036148537.png (139.51 KB, 1436x836, hydrachud.png)

Offended by his hurtful words, you inform him of how toxic and bigoted his ideology is, and how he should check himself before you're forced to wreck himself.

Suddenly, you realize that those aren't arms by his side, but additional heads. This isn't your average chud... this is the rare and elusive ==HYDRACHUD==

The heads, in sync with one another, reply:
>cope, tranny
>fuck you [n-word] (omitted for sensitivity)
>we will NOT take the meds


Tell him that if he comes within 6 feet of you you'll slash him with your unwashed corona ridden nails


you hatch a devious plan to make him take his meds.

he has heads (with mouths) instead of hands.
throw meds in his direction while yelling "catch!", hoping that he accidentally ingests them


File: 1619036585285.png (156.9 KB, 1436x836, hydrachud 2.png)

The hydrachud draws near. You bear your fingerboy talons and inform him that you have the 'rona underneath your nails, so he better not try anything funny. The chuds begin snickering to themselves.

"What's so funny??" you ask. The middle one licks his lips. Suddenly, you are washed with a wave of fear. "W-what did you do with my baby fingerling, vile monster?!"


You are shocked and angered, with a shaky voice you utter: Trump Lost.


They don't care about it because they know that he is another puppet of ((them)).
You ask who ((they)) are, but no answer.


File: 1619037096193.png (177.24 KB, 1436x836, angry hydrachud.png)

You are shocked and distraught at the thought that this madman may have eaten your beloved fingerling, but know just the thing to bait this chud into lowering his guard.

In a shaky voice, you utter: "Trump lost."

The hydrachud begins seething with rage, and begins to charge while reciting white supremacist dogwhistles:



You mention that he is for Israel, but they don't care.


File: 1619038306224-0.png (87.53 KB, 787x503, impjak meds toss.png)

File: 1619038306224-1.png (155.52 KB, 1436x836, hydrachud 3.png)

File: 1619038306224-2.png (227.95 KB, 1436x836, hydrachud 4.png)

"Heh... just according to keikaku." you say to yourself before tossing a handful of meds at the enemy and exclaiming "catch!"

Instinctively, the hydrachud readies itself to catch whatever you're throwing, but because it doesn't have hands it opens its mouths and ingests the meds by mistake. Suddenly the hydrachud stops dead in its tracks and begins to turn pink.


wait and watch as the transformation unfolds


Its my chance!
Punch every chud face as hard as I can!


My idea was funnier


File: 1619039238285.jpg (117.85 KB, 600x800, 1616121935940.jpg)

>>>75292 (You)
>My idea was funnier


Its true though


Is any of this actually happening? For all I know swedejak is still hallucinating/dreaming from the meds he ate at the beggining


yes we are though


Impjack wakes up and finds out that hes hallucinating because he was forced to eat shit out of a niggers anus


Impjack wakes up and finds out that he's hallucinating because he accidentally swallowed some cheese from a cryboy's cock


Impjack tastes some good cunny


File: 1619062333441.png (103.61 KB, 392x287, donturtelli3 (im not CC).png)


Take the chud's glasses away, and escape while they can't see


File: 1619151282040.jpg (78.57 KB, 708x800, 1584973452457.jpg)

where are the storytellers?


But where are they though




I might hop in and make a new entry later today. I waited because I wanted to see what the main storyanon had in mind


File: 1619190664817.png (26.35 KB, 474x474, bd84ff1deb34bebf639610895e….png)



File: 1619190767546.png (286.02 KB, 900x900, btgc.png)


File: 1619205883948.png (164.29 KB, 811x1049, 917.png)

They transform into some bald retard telling you: "WAKE UP!! YOU ARE LATE FOR THE WORK!!"


File: 1619206092025.png (283.36 KB, 1436x1686, femchud.png)

You stand back and observe as the transformation unfolds before you. It seems the emergency HRT meds you had on hand did the trick. The hydrachud is now a hydracher.


File: 1619206208681.png (138.12 KB, 600x800, fas.png)

Hehe. PP


Thanks bro :)
Sorry about the inconsistent schedule, I didn't anticipate this being so popular.


Punch them into a wall while holding masks, forcing them to wear the mask.


File: 1619208350719-0.png (784.69 KB, 870x676, impjak mask.png)

File: 1619208350719-1.png (38.9 KB, 987x585, chud btfo.png)

As the (formerly) hydrachud stands there in shock at her new womanly body, you use the opportunity to enforce the facility's COVID-19 guidelines.

Charging towards the chud, you scream "MASK UP, CHUD!" before violently masking all three heads in a flurry of slaps, sending the feminized monster flying through the wall.

You stand there proudly, knowing that you've followed all the proper steps to dealing with chuds: turning them into a girl, forcing them to wear a mask, and physically assaulting them.


impregnate body



hold a moment of silence for your lost fingerling, then proceed to administration


File: 1619209077303.png (193.44 KB, 852x1002, 8e8b8999d51b2500d343e758d9….png)

>Uhm, sweety, that's not consistent with the established lore


cope stop sexualizing impboys chudfuck


File: 1619216826677-0.png (88.15 KB, 1027x750, impjak sad.png)

File: 1619216826677-1.png (96.75 KB, 1027x750, impjak fingerling.png)

File: 1619216826677-2.png (15.72 KB, 926x361, updated impjak map.png)

Tearfully, you hold a moment of silence for your lost fingerling. His sacrifice will not be in vain...

Suddenly, something steps forth from out of the darkness. IT'S YOUR LOST FINGERLING! Overjoyed with emotion, you give your baby a big ol' fingerboy hug. Afterwards, he explains what happens:
Apparently, the lights are off all the way to ward 1, and the elevator to the generator room is down. However, the elevator to the entrance was still operational and he was able to sneak outside of the facility. It seems that the entire building is actually carved into the side of a cliff. Very strange.

Do you still wish to proceed to Administration?


Cautiously proceed to administration


File: 1619218237652.png (41.23 KB, 598x658, impjak elevator.png)

You proceed up the elevator to Administration. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This plays over the loudspeaker.


you get inside the elevator and press the button to go to the administration


Which version of Sweet Dreams, Eurythmics or Marilyn Manson?


exit the elevator once it stops, and take a look at your surroundings


they play the Eurythmics version first and then Marilyn Mansons version straight after


Added much new material to the wiki article https://wiki.soyjak.party/index.php?title=Impjak_Adventure




File: 1619274413836.png (16.7 KB, 987x585, impjak admin.png)

You take the elevator to the top level and exit into the head doctor's chambers. You see him communicating with someone over video, although you can't make out who it is through the static.

Head doctor: Are you sure about this, Director?
Strange man: Of course I'm sure, now stop calling me and get back to your job. I don't want to hear from you again until *bzzzzzzzzt* is sorted out.
Head doctor: I didn't quite catch that, Director.
Strange man: Don't tell me the servers are down again...
Head doctor: No, sir, we just had some soylent overflow lately and our systems are running at max capacity. I'm sure we'll have everything up and running again before it churns into chees-
Strange man: DON'T SAY THAT WORD
Head doctor: Right, of course, Director, my apologies.
Strange man: Ugh... don't call me back until you have something to report, Dr. *bzzzzzzzzt*

The video feed cuts out.


greet the head doctor and tell him that you need to see soyowicz about filling in some paperwork


explain your situation to the doctor


File: 1619275510944.png (126.41 KB, 613x800, head doctor soy.png)

You approach the head doctor, who swivels around in his chair to greet you.

Soystein: Ah, Dr. Soyswedeson! How can I help you, today?
Impboy: Well, head doctor, I need to see docto- I mean, patient Soyowicz for some procedural paperwork. Do you think you could call ward 5 and have him sent down?
Soystein: Paperwork? Hmmmmm, I suppose we do need to log his escape attempt, although I'm not sure how lucid he'll be after the operation...


Ask him about who he was just speaking too



File: 1619276237351.png (177.86 KB, 612x800, soy tracer.png)

You ask the head doctor who he was speaking to.

"Oh, nobody important," he replies, "just a fellow foot enthusiast."


I thought Dr. Gigachad was the head psychiatrist?


The wiki says he "was (is?)" is the head psychiatrist, so I just went with Soystein since I wasn't sure.


inquire about sprokebergs missing sproke


File: 1619277565854.png (130.75 KB, 610x800, soy sproke.png)

You inquire about Dr. Sprokeberg's missing sproke (nice catch btw I totally forgot about that).

Soystein smirks and chuckles to himself, "Haha, swiped Dr. Sprokeberg's sproke again, have you Dr. Soyswedeson? I saw you drinking it earlier."
He catches his composure and reminds you that stealing office supplies from coworkers is against company policy, but slyly winks afterwards.


make some small talk as you wait for soyowicz to be brought up


damn he kinda cool and friendly


File: 1619278534824.png (43.59 KB, 936x800, asylum rock.png)

You decide now would be a good time to inquire about the nature of the facility while you wait for Soyowicz to arrive.

You ask the head doctor about where the two of you are now. He seems a little perplexed by your questioning, but answers nonetheless:
"We are in the mental asylum, of course. We relocated to Petrified Forest National Park after our previous facility in Capitol Reef was compromised by... escaped test subjects. To the naked eye, this facility would appear to be nothing more than a cliffside, but it actually houses one of the most advanced mental institutions humanity has ever seen. Drank too much sproke, have you, doctor Soyswedeson? Your head must be feeling hazy if you've forgotten where we are."


swolesome soyjak might become a problem once you try to sneak out with soyowicz. ask soystein about him, and try to find out about any weak points he may have


File: 1619279331395.png (81.41 KB, 1056x937, swolesome energy.png)

Believing that swolesome soyjak may prove to be a problem later when you and Soyowicz hatch your escape, you ask the head doctor if he has any weaknesses or vulnerabilities that an enemy could exploit.

"Swolesome soyjak?" the doctor replies, "swomesome soyjak, he is... invincible."


*swolesome soyjak


Ask soystein if there's any guards around carrying weapons you could steal


seems like he needs to be avoided at all costs


tell soystein you're impressed and ask how could both swolesome and he himself (soystein) have achieved such kind of invulnerability


File: 1619309170686.png (47.48 KB, 741x823, soy guard.png)

You begin asking Dr. Soystein about the guards and whether or not any of them are carrying weapons that you could steal. The head doctor is very confused by your line of questioning and begins to suspect that you are not the real Dr. Soyswedeson.

Just then, the elevator door dings and out steps a man in a government agent uniform wheeling around a patient, although you can't quite make out who the patient is...


You ask the guard about the patient


File: 1619311000090.png (131.47 KB, 760x1194, cyberwicz.png)

You ask the guard who the patient he's with is. The guard does not respond. He wheels the patient closer until suddenly you realize who it is that you're looking at.

It's... it's...
Doctor Soyowicz!
My god, what has science done?


try to hide your shock/disappointment and bring soyowicz down to the offices for the "paperwork".
don't try to communicate with him until you're out of sight of the other staff members


The latest in soyborg technology


Story summary on the wiki is now fully up to date


this is powerful


Also the dialogue sections look really great. Nice work, dude.


Pretty sure you're just replying to yourself faggot


Grab the joystick on soyowicz sholder and perform the konami code


File: 1619375201770.png (38.02 KB, 929x739, soyer door.png)

In spite of Dr. Soyowicz' new horrifying, mechanical appearance, he is still your friend. You decide to inquire with Dr. Soystein about having him brought down to the ward 3 offices for "paperwork," in order to hatch your escape, but before you can ask Soystein tells the guard to lock the elevator doors.


File: 1619375353481.jpg (34.3 KB, 400x400, Rc68ed3cfeec6317b99481791c….jpg)

Put him in a rear naked choke and tell him to open it up or he goes to sleep


shit, you're in trouble now.
flip the red switch on soyowicz and see what happens


Yeah you're replying to yourself



We will see


File: 1619381628817-0.png (438.94 KB, 606x607, impjak choke.png)

File: 1619381628817-1.png (6.61 KB, 692x436, doctor button.png)

You place the guard in a rear naked choke and tell him to open the door or he's taking a one-way trip to dreamland.

Dr. Soystein, alarmed at your sudden betrayal, presses the emergency button hidden under his desk, alerting the remaining guards and orderlies to your location and activating a Code Red lockdown.


You choke harder before the guards are finished locking the place down and try to find an escape but remember that swolesome soyjak is still around.


also trying to simultaneously confront Dr. Soystein about how could he do this



File: 1619382515505.png (104.3 KB, 774x769, soy knockout.png)

You successfully choke out the guard, leaving him unconscious on the floor. You begin panicking, knowing that soon the guards will place the facility on lockdown and swolesome soyjak will arrive to stop your escape.

Suddenly, you hear a familiar voice from the middle of the room:


Turn around.


To the direction the voice came from.


File: 1619383672494-0.png (163.87 KB, 1534x1194, cyberwicz unchained.png)

File: 1619383672494-1.png (5.82 KB, 310x296, soy beep.png)

You turn around. The cybernetically modified body of Dr. Soyowicz stands in the middle of the room, having broken free from its bondage. He looks at you with a somber face. If he still had tear ducts, you believe a single tear would be forming below his eye.


Soystein looks on, mortified. Much like Dr. Frankenstein came to fear his creation, so too has Dr. Soystein.

Suddenly, the antenna protruding from Soyowicz's right shoulder begins beeping.


break off the antenna


Not sure what to do now honestly, someone else make a choice.


Good idea, glad I decided to let someone else reply I would say something stupid.


Use your superhuman swedish impboy intelligence to reprogram soyowicz into his previous sentient form


>600 replies
Soitards this us your mindset


File: 1619405440234.png (84.04 KB, 598x800, 1619327687750.png)

>600 replies
who cares, if you can't spare the time to enjoy this coming of age story than that is your own problem


File: 1619436452925.png (102.81 KB, 907x602, impjak antenna.png)

Using your claws, you hack off the antenna. Soyowicz informs you that it's too late, he's already activated the self-destruct protocol. He tells you to get out of here while he takes Soystein with him in the ensuing explosion.


Thank him for his sacrifice then run like hell


File: 1619437431597-0.png (15.89 KB, 268x245, impjak tears.png)

File: 1619437431597-1.png (45.82 KB, 926x731, impjak door.png)

You thank Dr. Soyowicz for his noble sacrifice. You rush to the elevator to make your escape, but the door is still firmly shut.


Why the fuck would the auto destruct be activated with Dr. Soystein in the room.

Anyway, direct Dr. Soyowicz to stand by the elevator to blow it up while you stand on the direct opposite end of the room as not to be blown up.


this means that soystein won't die THOUGH.

keep soyowicz close to soystein to make sure his sacrifice isn't in vain.
the guard locked the elevator by pressing the red button. press the green button in hopes of unlocking it again


File: 1619439577850.png (205.76 KB, 1534x1194, soyowicz bursting.png)

Not knowing what to do, you panic. Should you use Soyowicz to blow open the elevator door or to kill Dr. Soystein? Before you can decide, Soyowicz begins erupting.


use soystein as a human shield


Both of these in this order


Kill soystein and use him as a human shield!


File: 1619440696513.png (239.22 KB, 1357x734, soyowicz explosion.png)


Sensing your hesitation, Soyowicz leaps forward towards Dr. Soystein. You reach out your hand one last time, hoping to save your friend, but it is too late. Then, everything goes white.


I wake up!




File: 1619441110007.png (45.67 KB, 936x800, asylum meltdown.png)



Deaths (estimated): 204
# of Survivors (confirmed): 17


hope that your hardened impboy body saved you


File: 1619441587805.png (13.52 KB, 127x282, impjak awake.png)

You wake up. You're not sure what happened, but the last thing you remember is Dr. Soyowicz sacrificing himself to stop Dr. Soystein.

Despite being caught in the blast, you surprisingly don't feel any pain. Hmmmmm.... something about you is different, but you're not quite sure.

What form will you take?


Turn into a pickle! and Scream "I'm a pickle! I turned myself into a pickle!"


File: 1619441795000.png (4.69 KB, 223x274, USBSoy.png)

>Turn into a pickle! and Scream "I'm a pickle! I turned myself into a pickle!"


Become the country of Sweden


>I'm pickle swede!
Funniest shit I have ever seen.


File: 1619442718518.png (230.41 KB, 1027x1039, picklejack.png)

You have turned into a pickle!

Impickle: *BUUUUUUUUURP* I'm a pickle! I turned myself into a pickle!


Figure out where you landed
If you're still in the desert, find cover before you dry up


do just like pickle rick did in the original pickle rick episode and attach a rat's limbs to your body


File: 1619443093997.jpg (18.18 KB, 615x323, pickle-rick-cockroach-1-61….jpg)

He killed a cockroach first poeser


File: 1619443138171.png (337.03 KB, 917x733, you WILL like this video.PNG)

you wake up as impjak in the ruins of the asylum.

you will NOT continue with the awful "it was all a dream" meme


Honestly this though


this, please this. there's no direction with the pickle storyline


stfu, asylum arc is over


This. Really, this.



This. Im sorry but the story needs to be serious.


File: 1619444265729.png (167.51 KB, 1387x805, soystein lunchbox.png)

You observe your surroundings. It appears that you have somehow been transformed into a pickle from Dr. Soystein's lunch box, whose body shielded the pail from the blast.

Sorry, am I taking things too fast? I wanted to move on from the asylum, but I can undo the last few panels if this isn't the direction people want the story to go in.


No its just one retard samefagging.


Eat the cheese


Here, if you guys want to vote on it:

I know it's a joke comic, but I don't want to mess with the established lore if y'all were having more fun the way things were going in the asylum.


soyparty doesn't have that many users, someone is clearly proxyfagging



Just in case, I'll return in an hour or so so people have time to vote.


Soystein is technically as invincible as swolesome don't forget that


It's done. Pickle imp is here to stay.


File: 1619450112344.png (184.56 KB, 644x800, police.png)

>IP Duplication Checking


File: 1619450178506.png (238.74 KB, 805x1254, 1606990563859.png)

>It's done. Pickle imp is here to stay.


Impjak picklehops into Soystein's mouth to take shelter from the heat








File: 1619450918418.png (71.67 KB, 385x400, 1614200858295.png)

>It's done. Pickle imp is here to stay.


File: 1619451155650.jpg (67.1 KB, 912x1024, gigachad.jpg)

>Yes I do belive that there are 52 people on /soy/


Borderline racist post


How about this
Two new threads
One following the pickleboy story and another thread following a more serious storyline


Would be fine but I don't know if OP ants to draw so much


i was literally just thinking about this. great minds think alike.



We can have multiple drawfags though


>Serious storyline
Might aswell keep only one instead of 2, when you make it serious you're going to ruin the soul of this tale


File: 1619452454133.png (211.74 KB, 600x800, 1619327779625.png)

>>Serious storyline
>Might aswell keep only one instead of 2, when you make it serious you're going to ruin the soul of this tale


Asylum arc was way to long anyway


That's what makes the story so great tho
It has enough seriousness and structure to make the more comedic moments stand out
Making it lolrandomxdmemes actually would ruin the soul


Seethe wojacker, your idea is dumb as fuck as would literally create an awful story


Wrong, it was slow-burn kino, had great character development and an awesome ending


File: 1619452625047.gif (1.23 MB, 254x254, 1618604226801.gif)



Yeah it had an ending. Why do you want rewrite it?


Making a fully serious story with cringy elements is one thing sweety, throughout this thread there is more humor than seriousness


The arc's ending was the asylum explosion
After that began the pickle shit, that's what people dislike


File: 1619453061125.png (93.45 KB, 600x800, deformed big chin small mo….png)


OP said he will rewind to before the explosion


Cease being


Are any mods here? I'm planning on making a serious thread and it would be cool if it could be pinned.


File: 1619453278687.jpg (6.59 KB, 187x250, 1618801279469s.jpg)

Someone make a new fucking thread


on it


If a two-thread system is implemented and this thread remains pickleshit, I guarantee you this one will die and the more serious one will prosper, mark my words



now we just need it to be pinned.




the impjak adventures schism is happening right before our eyes


All this because of one rick and morty fan


All this because stupid wojackers want a generic serious stuff story


File: 1619453741865.jpg (530.19 KB, 1280x720, wojacker.jpg)



Soot wont pin it, he's not one of the autistic purists.


It appears that my post wrecked someone's feefees


damn, im going to bed now, see whats happened in the morning.


Soot ban the autistic samefag trying to ruin the game


theres like 3 samefags


File: 1619454399751.jpg (62.01 KB, 638x745, reddit.jpg)

>Soyjak culture-specific characters and locations? No thanks, I'd rather have """ironic""" rick and morty memes


File: 1619454406008.png (75.85 KB, 600x800, 1619197851985.png)



I hope all of the other soyposters die a slow and painful death after the anger they got me through today


*Soyvil War



can't we have like a compromise where he turns into a pickle but he still has to explore or escape the facility


Impjak died in the explosion
The end


Thats what everybody wants, nobody said we will do something else.


The rivals brought this upon themselves
Soyjak.party is more divided than ever
Not even soot can stop the imminent collapse




File: 1619454947298.png (54.56 KB, 1146x395, dad.PNG)

Reminder that non of the anti pickle chuds gave their own anwser to what should Impjak turn into with is something OP wants




Holy shit the anitpickle thread got deleted



Soot deleted the fake thread, based.






Ok I see my post made people angry so I will change it. Impjak changed into a really swole mucle packed Impjak.

Is this fine?


File: 1619455797897.png (8.77 KB, 939x143, scree.PNG)

Proof it was my post.


there is no need to be upset, everyone, just adapt to being a pickle and learn to enjoy it


File: 1619457530098-0.png (140.95 KB, 617x666, impickle cheese.png)

File: 1619457530098-1.png (112.67 KB, 861x579, soy healing.png)

File: 1619457530098-2.png (111.47 KB, 847x598, IMPICKLED.png)

You take a bite of delicious cheese. Mmmmmmmm, yummy!

Suddenly, Soystein begins regenerating. It seems the blast hadn't quite killed him, but it has delayed his self-healing abilities.

Before he can finish regenerating, you hop into his agape mouth.


get into his insides and tear his organs before he regenerates


OP here, that's what I'm planning on doing. I'm sorry it caused such a divide, I just wanted to speed the story along since I had other things planned outside of the asylum.


take over his body like you did with the fingerboy earlier


take over his body through his brainstem after eating his organs


File: 1619458095312.png (166.01 KB, 847x598, impickle immortal.png)

You slip down into his esophagus and discover the immortality crystal in his stomach which causes him to regenerate. You take a big bite out of the crystal, effectively ending his invulnerability.



Should he become pickle Dr. Impstein or just Dr. Impstein?


Check if Soystein had anything cool in his pockets


Dr. Impstein with a pickleboy head


Nah drop the pickle thing, we are in Soystein body now.


ok, but i want to see soystein with swedish fail's head


the swedehead should be in one of the eye sockets


File: 1619458953425.png (166.55 KB, 587x973, impstein.png)

You assume direct control over Soystein's body. You are now Dr. Impstein.

You take this moment to recognize that you are dangerously close to entering Sonic OC territory.


Check if Soystein had anything cool in his pockets


File: 1619459197103.png (64.96 KB, 1317x769, imp pockets.png)

You check your new body's pockets for anything of use, but all you find is meds and more cheese.


shout soywizc's name in hopes that he somehow survived the explosion


Also if anyone wants to clean up Impstein's design or make him just a normal impstein and not a picklefied one, I would appreciate it.


Eath the cheese
and than do this>>76754
Keep meds for later


are those the same meds that made us hallucinate the schizojak at the beginning of the adventure?


Maybe the solution is to take the meds and come back to reality


File: 1619460992519.png (134.68 KB, 587x973, impstein.png)

I cleaned it up a bit.

rather than deplicklifying him entirely, I just desaturated his skin a bit, in order to differentiate him from previous characters


dayum he be lookin stylish tho


aren't those meds what turned him into a tapeworm in the first place?


It's not your fault bro, no one could have known pickletard would show up


File: 1619467017749-0.png (91.68 KB, 490x387, impjak cheese.png)

File: 1619467017749-1.png (419.72 KB, 714x476, impjak rez.png)

You chow down on some more delicious cheese. Suddenly, a strange name pops into your head. You're not sure whose it is, but you shout it out loud hoping that whoever it belongs to will hear you.

Impstein: SOYOWICZ!

No response. Now that your vision is returning you begin to make out where you landed.


Make a red indian battle call, maybe some of the local Indigenous population will hear you and offer assistance



Is it time for >>72069 to debut?


Heckin heck yes


File: 1619468619368.png (83.25 KB, 1083x2059, dr. impstein.png)

Before you progress any further on your quest, you notice that your skin pigmentation has whitened, possibly as a result of assuming control over Soystein's body. Your hairline also recedes, leaving you bald.

(I did this to simplify his design since I could tell the pickle colors would be an issue later, let me know if you want him with a new haircut though)

No worries, I thought your pickle suggestion was funny and it was fun making pickle impjak.


interesting choice, it works well


Absolute chad of a 'jak
Personally I liked Soystein's hair but maybe it's easier to keep Impstein bald


File: 1619469170674.png (237.35 KB, 686x619, ClipboardImage.png)

give him a haircut like this from my favorite tv show


File: 1619469236356.png (91.52 KB, 600x800, grav1.png)



File: 1619469638987.png (89.38 KB, 1080x2206, dr. impstein 2.png)

kek done


If a part 2 video comes out I think it should end around >>76785 >>76787 or >>76799


Also I'd like to point out that my MS Paint drawing of impjak is literally more detailed than fucking rick and morty lmao


lmfao true


Learn the first thing about animation retard


This, obviously something animated that you have to draw 24 times for every second of a show is less detailed lol.


trannimator cope






He's right though



File: 1619473631260.png (5.44 KB, 265x130, sann.PNG)


Nice inspect element.



tranimator cope



File: 1619477350767.png (12.25 KB, 427x400, 1515258190305.png)



speaking of which, when's the new video episode coming out?


Get killed




File: 1619482423384.png (115.61 KB, 1448x868, impstein natives.png)

Miraculously, your hair grows back, but in a sick new style! You feel your intellect growing with each follicle of hair on your head.

Three natives suddenly lunge out from out of the brush. They circle around you, amazed by your height and ripped body. They begin talking amongst themselves in a strange language.

Indian #1: Heyayayayayayayay heyayyayayaya
Indian #2: Ohohohohohohohohohohoho
Indian #3: Crees que este gringo tiene dinero?


smoke peace pice with the indians and ask for directions to the nearest city




File: 1619525262807.png (839.08 KB, 800x800, a83b3cb7be07181c3ee13fd656….png)

>smoke peace pice


Thats a joint though


make a new thread, this one is starting to break my phone when i open it


File: 1619537985382.png (159.42 KB, 766x800, 1618678788173.png)

>my phone


File: 1619538336012.png (90.08 KB, 454x520, holding breath soyjak.png)



lol thats me after flooding my room with ozone


bruh nothing is stopping you from continuing the asylum arc in another thread


File: 1619542031264-0.webm (973.93 KB, 640x800, 1618725186326.webm)

File: 1619542031264-1.webm (973.93 KB, 640x800, 1618725186326.webm)

File: 1619542031264-2.webm (973.93 KB, 640x800, 1618725186326.webm)

>thread ruined. the asylum story was kino. this reddit garbage belongs in the trash. soot plz unpin


soot please put this on the front page


um that isn't my post sweetie


File: 1619542473534.mp4 (2.69 MB, 256x256, painjack.mp4)





sus schizo bitch


File: 1619542795314.jpg (60.63 KB, 376x278, rake soy.jpg)



File: 1619542969733.png (522.67 KB, 720x1026, 1619111060764.png)

how am I sus?
elaborate on how am I sus
what can I do?


>Soylent was introduced in 2014 after a crowdfunding campaign.[3]
>picture says it was taken in 2010


>he doesnt kno of the beta soy


File: 1619545421820.png (209.72 KB, 971x512, Soy161.png)


garbage thread.


File: 1619545951185.jpg (69.64 KB, 452x363, Soy168.jpg)

>garbage thread.


wow soitards ruin yet again another good thread.


New thread, y'all:

I would appreciate it if the mods kept this one stickied a little longer in case there are any new readers.


Alright, if this ends up unstickied in the future I'll link an archive of this in the main sticky.


archive each image individually, the trannies at archive.org barely archive thumbnails let alone full images


forgot my though: THOUGH


Thanks bro

I have most of them saved, but some I deleted for storage reasons.


File: 1619923154252-0.gif (32.67 KB, 128x128, 1619319658274.gif)

File: 1619923154252-1.gif (32.67 KB, 128x128, 1619319658274.gif)

File: 1619923154252-2.gif (32.67 KB, 128x128, 1619319658274.gif)



Delete this, I was used to >>77256 being the most recent reply


Thanks bro

I have most of them saved, but some I deleted for storage reasons.


>>314465959 (OP)
I just saged this thread.

What does this mean?
The amount of bumps (points) on your thread account has not increased by my reply.

Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a thread to be unworthy of a bump. These include, but are not limited to:

Rudeness towards other /pol/tards,
Spreading incorrect information,
Memeflagging more than twice a month

Am I banned from 4chan.org?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making threads like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue a formal ban request to the multiple moderators that I know, which may put your replying and posting privileges in jeopardy.

I don't believe my thread deserves a saged reply. Can you un-sage it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But unfortunately, it is impossible to undo it. Even if it was possible, I would only do it in exceedingly rare circumstances If you would like to issue a good natured apology, create a thread with the title “sage unban”. I tend to respond to threads within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of apologies are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the saged reply and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on 4chan.org. I will continue to issue saged replies on similar threads until you improve your conduct. Remember: 4chan is privilege, not a right.


Thanks bro

I have most of them saved, but some I deleted for storage reasons.

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