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/soy/ - Soyjak


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File: 1617630225710.png (42.11 KB, 700x992, upright impjak.png)

 No.66177[Last 50 Posts]

The rules are simple. First one to reply decides what our impish friend here does.

 No.66178

Go to the local mosque.

 No.66179

File: 1617630579752.png (82.92 KB, 1373x837, impjak travel.png)

>>66178
Impjak travels to the local Swedish mosque (wholesome!)

 No.66180

>>66179
eat mosque

 No.66181

File: 1617630870933.png (15.36 KB, 912x779, impjak full.png)

>>66180
Impjak devours the revered Swedish holy site in one big gulp. Impjak should be aware that this is a hate crime punishable under Swedish law.

 No.66183

>>66181
go back home and watch 'plier

 No.66184

File: 1617631509067.png (222.07 KB, 1500x750, impjak home.png)

>>66183
Impjak decides to return home to watch some 'plier only to realize that he can no longer fit in his shed.

 No.66185

>>66184
there's only one thing to do at this point: eat your home as well

 No.66187

sorry y'all I'll be back later to continue the adventure. I just gave myself hiccups from laughing at my own dumb thread lol

 No.66188

>swedish humor
fuck off roach

 No.66190

>>66187
cute
>>66188
not cute

 No.66191

swolesome thread

 No.66194

File: 1617637297047.png (20.36 KB, 907x1217, impjak full 2.png)

>>66185
Impjak was so hungry from his lil adventure that he decides to eat his home as well.

 No.66195

>>66194
go on a trip to the Capitol Reef National Park

 No.66196

File: 1617638339586.png (1.18 MB, 1444x682, impjak national park.png)

>>66195
Impjak travels to CRNP... but something is wrong.

 No.66197

>>66196
explore the area

 No.66199

File: 1617638603156.png (5.04 MB, 1987x1327, impjak park 2.png)

>>66197
Impjak explores the area. It looks like all that exercise has made impjak sweat off some of that extra weight, too!

 No.66200

>>66196
eat the fingerboys with sproke

 No.66201

>>66200
you gotta reply to >>66199 now, friend.

 No.66202

>>66201
kys(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

 No.66203

>>66199
chop yo leg off

 No.66204

>>66202
woah. okay. this is not cool. you're not allowed to threaten me like that. i've contacted the mods and they will be banning your IP soon. i hope it was worth it, saying those hurtful things to me.

 No.66210

>>66199
eat the mountains to recover weight

 No.66211

File: 1617639194171.png (44.27 KB, 968x992, impjak saw.png)

>>66203
You chop your own leg off with a hacksaw. Without medical attention, you will surely bleed to death, if the fingerboys don't get here first...

 No.66213

>>66211
stitch your leg on top of your head, this will let the finger boys know you are not to be messed with (and maybe they will make you their leader/king)

 No.66214

>>66211
that was a bad idea this is going to the bad ending

 No.66217

File: 1617639828154.png (97.82 KB, 1562x1444, impjak fingerboys.png)

>>66213
You sow your bisected leg onto your scalp. Miraculously, it seems to have stopped the bleeding. A gaggle of lesser fingerboys approach you.

 No.66218

File: 1617639888965.png (97.45 KB, 1500x1000, fingerboy_full_body_soyak_….png)

yikes

 No.66219

>>66217
try eating one

 No.66220

>>66217
try breeding one

 No.66222

>>66217
swolejak comes in and tries to fend off the fingerboys

 No.66223

File: 1617641159243.png (75.28 KB, 1562x1444, impjak tasty.png)

>>66219
You devour the nearest lesser fingerjak. The youngling is no match for your impenetrable stomach. The remaining nymphs cower in fear.

 No.66224

>>66223
*fingerboy

whoops lore slip lol

 No.66225

>>66223
try breeding one

 No.66226

>>66225
Sorry, Impjaks are asexual. They reproduce through mitosis.

 No.66227

>>66226
>>66223
then turn it into a prosthetic leg

 No.66228

>>66223
A larger fingerboy appears

 No.66229

File: 1617642185494.png (83.67 KB, 1562x1444, impjak scratched.png)

>>66227
You grab one of the remaining fingerboys and attempt to crudely fashion it into a prosthetic lug. It scratches your now gangrenous stump until you're forced to let it go. It lets out a bloodcurdling screech.

 No.66232

>>66229
He takes his meds.

 No.66233

File: 1617642372424.png (31.89 KB, 566x519, ominous impjak.png)

>>66232
You take the meds that Dr. Soyberg gave you and begin to hallucinate. You enter a dark place in the deepest canals of your mind.

 No.66235

File: 1617642619753.png (174.3 KB, 600x600, 111.png)

>>66233
A schizojak appears

 No.66236

File: 1617642949243.png (41.45 KB, 566x519, afraid impjak.png)

>>66235
Out of the corner of your eye you see something in the recesses of the darkness.

 No.66237

File: 1617643219907.png (83.27 KB, 1500x1000, fingerboy_full_body_soyak_….png)

guys use this one it has better outline

 No.66238

>>66237
thanks bro i will in the future

 No.66240

>>66237
also better feet

 No.66242

>>66236
look closer at the face, then try to visualise text that you disagree with next to it

 No.66243

>>66236
Tell him to take his meds

 No.66249

File: 1617646878665.png (33.13 KB, 566x519, afraid impjak 2.png)

>>66242
You turn around and look closer at the disfigured face. You visualize a statement you disagree with next to it to make light of the situation.

 No.66252

>>66228
then it would be a fingerman though

 No.66253

>>66249
you must escape.
grab the face's mouth with both hands and tear up an opening

 No.66259

File: 1617649736420.png (25.19 KB, 566x519, afraid impjak 3.png)

>>66253
You open a portal through the face's elongated mouth.

 No.66261

>>66259
gets reborn in the real world as a tapeworm

 No.66265

File: 1617651813210.png (39.22 KB, 700x992, impjak tapeworm.png)

>>66261
You are now a tapeworm.

 No.66275

>>66265
He sees a severed Soyjak head inside the stomach, he realizes he's inside an adult Fingerboy, he figures out his only routes of escape are being shat out or fleeing when the fingerboy regurgitates him to feed the babies.

 No.66279

>>66275
He becomes Knull.

 No.66284

>>66265
gnaw your way out

 No.66310

File: 1617666442514.png (79.69 KB, 806x641, impjak thrown up.png)

>>66275
The fingerboy broodmother regurgitates you. Now's your chance to escape!

 No.66311

File: 1617666497513.png (29.35 KB, 520x827, impworm.png)

>>66310
also as a bonus here's an impworm lol

 No.66312

>>66310
attach to one of the babies like a headcrab

 No.66348

>>66312
this, become a parasite, take over its body and transform it into the first impish fingerboy

 No.66776

>>66348
so much this

 No.66933

Holy mega gem
Nice one OP, this was a lot of fun to read

 No.66976

File: 1617818195827.png (109.09 KB, 1500x1000, impboy.png)

not OP, but since he's gone, I'll take things into my own hands for the time being.
same rules still apply - first (You) gets his way.

>>66312
you pounce onto one of the fingerboy babies, and force your tail down its throat. it helplessly struggles as your tendrils extend into its central nervous system.

after a few few moments, the struggle is over. the fingerboy's brain has been consumed, and you have assumed full control of the body.
you have now successfully become an impboy.

 No.66978

File: 1617819186602.png (92.43 KB, 1500x1000, impish fingers.png)

>>66976
i tried to make it more finger boy-ish

 No.66980

>>66978
>>66976
the mother fingerboy approaches and notices that something is different with it's child

 No.66982

File: 1617819695373.png (121.69 KB, 1500x1000, impboy mother.png)

>>66980
the gigantic mother fingerboy looms over you, suspicious.
you must think of a course of action, and quickly.

>>66978
nice work! I'm a bit ambivalent about him being blind, but we'll go with it for the time being

 No.66984

>>66982
vomit sproke onto her so she thinks he's just sick

 No.66987

File: 1617820967212.png (1.63 MB, 1500x3000, impboy cabin.png)

>>66984
in panic, you vomit the sproke you drank earlier onto the concerned fingermommy.

at the sight of your display, the fingermommy's heart sinks: this child is sick and won't survive.
the next moment, she kicks you out of the nest - it might seem cruel, but it's nature's way.

as you wake up, you find yourself outside a small cabin

 No.66989

File: 1617822477236.png (311.05 KB, 717x478, Untitled-1.png)

>>66987
Mamic comes out of nowhere to say: "You Rock!" in Croatian.

 No.67017

>>66989
nice job cripple

 No.67023

>>67017
I can run fine, but the problem is that I broke few of my bones on my right side in November of 2019.

 No.67749

File: 1617872983788.jpg (146.25 KB, 1500x997, croatian fail.jpg)

>>66989
A middle aged man in a suit appears without warning and says something in a strange, foreign language.
You have no idea what he wants or what he's doing here, but he seems friendly enough.

 No.67751

>>67749
the swede isn't a fan of racism, he notices a racist hand sign, and kills the man using a rock.

 No.67752

File: 1617875879363.jpg (231.98 KB, 1500x997, impjak murder.jpg)

>>67751
You notice that, despite his friendly-sounding words, the man is performing a racist hand gesture!
Since this is highly illegal in your native Sweden, you swiftly cast a rock at the man, striking him dead.

 No.67757

File: 1617878743864.jpg (5.31 KB, 199x253, index.jpg)

>>67752
Justin Bieber comes out of nowhere to sing "Baby!" which annoys Swede.

 No.67759

>>67757
shut the fuck up

 No.67762

File: 1617879050752.png (331.67 KB, 785x1000, e0d.png)

>>67759
>shut the fuck up

 No.67763

>>67762
shut the fuck up

 No.67764


 No.67765

>>67763
This is soyjak.party. Even if I don't need to put your opinion under Soyjak, I will do it anyways.

 No.67768

>>67757
>>66989
can you kindly stop making inane replies like these (i.e. "x appears").

you're supposed to choose a course of action for impjak based on the cues given by the narrator.
by doing what you're currently doing, you're only preventing the story from ever progressing

 No.67769

>>67765
shut the fuck up

 No.67771

>>67768
big brain

 No.67773

>>67768
Oh. Sorry, dude.

 No.67779

File: 1617883762610.png (27.83 KB, 640x480, cabin interior.png)

>>67757
A bizarre entity whizzes past shrieking horribly. Before you can even get a second look, it's gone.
You notice that it's getting late, and with the evening comes cold temperatures.
You decide to take shelter in the cabin.

 No.67781

>>67780
This is what I say but I don't look like that, I'm a gigachad

 No.67809

File: 1617896208332.gif (2.85 MB, 600x600, markiplier soyaks forehead….gif)

>>>67757
>>>66989
>can you kindly stop making inane replies like these (i.e. "x appears").

>you're supposed to choose a course of action for impjak based on the cues given by the narrator.

>by doing what you're currently doing, you're only preventing the story from ever progressing

 No.67881

I don't want to lose this gem :(

 No.67889

>>67779
sleep in the bed

 No.67890

>>67889
and fingerbate

 No.67935

File: 1617909190542.png (523.12 KB, 2500x1875, impish fingerboy wakes fro….png)

>>67889
You decide that, after a long and tiring day, it would be best to lay down and get a good night's sleep, ready for the next day.
>>67890
In the morning, you are struck by a strange urge. One thing leads to another, and at the climax of your stress-relieving activity, you suddenly expel forth what appears to be a litter of juvenile fingerboys.

 No.67943

>>67935
make an army of fingerboys, take revenge on fingerboy mother and rule become king fingerboy

 No.67946

>>67943
that's a huge progress for one post, maybe something shorter?
not the storyteller btw

 No.67951

>>67946
he can make 3 images to show the events happening and it's not like other people are giving him much better options

 No.67953

File: 1617910994108.png (10.89 KB, 69x127, content_aware_scale.png)

>that's a huge progress for one post, maybe something shorter?
>not the storyteller btw

 No.67954

File: 1617911088647.png (62.49 KB, 454x520, 1603909948095.png)

>storyteller

 No.67957

>>67953
>>67954
yikes not him
but he just made a point
he didn't deserve to get harassed like this
have sex

 No.67971

File: 1617911802879-0.png (745.49 KB, 2500x1875, impish fingerboy and finge….png)

File: 1617911802879-1.jpg (546.11 KB, 2000x1333, impish fingerboy and finge….jpg)

>>67943
It was a truly exhausting effort, but your self-copulation has produced a veritable army of fingerlings. Alive with the thought of possibility, you hatch a devious plan to avenge your cruel treatment at the hands of the fingerboy brood mother.
With your fingerling youngsters by your side, you hunt down the broodmother and charge into battle! You were lucky enough to catch her alone, and she is soon overwhelmed by your juvenile forces.
You are now the most feared and respected fingerboy in Capitol Reef National Park. You have become king of the local fingerboy population.

 No.67977

>>67971
Hey, original OP here. Thanks for taking up the story in my place, bro. I was busy the past few days. Let me know if you'd like me to continue, although you seem to be doing a better job than me lol

 No.67986

>>67977
Well, I disagree about doing a better job but thank you for the praise. I really only ever aimed to be a substitute poster to keep this gem alive, so if you want to continue the story, don't let me stop you.

 No.67988

>>67986
We could alternate if you'd like, but it's up to you. I'm fine either way if you don't want to continue.

 No.67990

>>67986
>>67977
wholesome thread

 No.67995

File: 1617912515695.png (31.88 KB, 600x800, wholesome soyjak.png)

>>67988
Yeah, I'll probably just kick back and watch the story unfold for now. Will probably return here though if the thread needs bumping

 No.67998

>>67995
No problem. Thanks for keeping it alive, fellow 'jaker ('yaker for any of my svedish friends out there).

 No.68004

>>67971
now that you've claimed your niche as the local apex cryptid, it's time to stalk some of the visiting soyjaks. find a good victim

 No.68036

File: 1617913552046.png (119.54 KB, 1429x848, impjak norwegian.png)

>>68004
You come across a Norwegian tourist (fail) taking photos of the park. He doesn't seem to have noticed you yet.

 No.68040

>>68036
steal his iphone

 No.68068

>>68036
steal his face

 No.68079

File: 1617914101184.png (98.45 KB, 765x609, impjak pickpocket.png)

>>68040
You attempt to steal his iPhone, but to your surprise he doesn't have any pockets, and upon closer observation is violating public decency laws.

 No.68084

>>68079
steal his camera and check the gallery

 No.68111

>>68079
Omco comes out of nowhere, punches him in the face and says: "CRAZY HAMBURGER!".

 No.68123

File: 1617914671611.jpg (328.67 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg)

>>68111
Oops. I forgot to put the image.

 No.68142

File: 1617914868411.png (33.75 KB, 655x433, impjak camera.png)

>>68084
After maiming the Norwegian failer a little bit, you swipe his camcorder and begin scrolling through his photo gallery. You notice someone in one of the photos who looks familiar... could this be you from a past life?

 No.68151

>>68142
film yourself with the camera and then leave it by the body

 No.68218

File: 1617915696546.png (41.67 KB, 416x315, impjak selfie.png)

>>68151
You take a quick snap for the 'gram and leave the camera next to its previous owner.

 No.68247

>>68218
return to the cabin and prepare an ambush for the next visitor

 No.68301

File: 1617916445651.png (28.23 KB, 640x480, soy trap.png)

>>68247
You return to the campground cabin and device an ingenious trap to lure in unsuspecting visitors using a bottle of delicious and nutritious Soylent™

 No.68333

>>68301
Lure in a group of soyjaks with a craigslist ad to feed your children

 No.68481

FUCK YEAH IT DIDNT GET ARCHIVED

 No.68669

Bump

 No.68670

File: 1617959223144.jpg (29.83 KB, 600x547, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.jpg)

>HOLY HECK THE HECKING THREADARINO SURVIVED!!

 No.68879

File: 1617991721076.png (110.29 KB, 545x448, impjak craigs.png)

>>68333
You post an ad to craiglist offering free tours of your cabin. Now you lie in wait for unsuspecting 'jaks...

 No.68891

>>68879
leave the door open and hide under the bed

 No.69109

Bumpy

 No.69154

File: 1618070832215.png (54.65 KB, 803x501, impjak hiding.png)

>>68891
You lie under the bed in wait for unsuspecting soyjaks.

 No.69155

>>69154
markiplier gives you a visit

 No.69156

>>69155
I'm talking about the soyjak, not the real one.

 No.69157

>>69154
feral you WILL soyjak gives you a visit

 No.69158

>>69154
tony soprano soyjak gives you a visit

 No.69159

>>69155
>>69157
>>69158
they instantly make a reddit party

 No.69160

File: 1618071339993.png (933.6 KB, 1954x1259, impjak plier.png)

>>69155
Suddenly markiplier (yes, THE markiplier) shows up at your cabin.

Impjak: Holy moly! Markiplier???? I'm your biggest fan!

 No.69162

>>69160
>Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to three scary games.
>Now the first one is called "Fingerboy Cabin". In this game we're checking out a cabin in the middle of the Capitol Reef National Park. Surely nothing could go wrong...

 No.69170

File: 1618074119574.png (193.3 KB, 1390x1296, Untitled-2.png)

>>69160
Before you went to the adventure, you see a(n) U(WU)staša under the name "Croatian Bastard". Nothing is known about him and you find an image when he was normal.
He yells in Croatian: "CROATIA DID NOTHING WRONG IN ITS HISTORY! SERBS ARE LYING TO YOU!!"
Some Swedish sissy comes out of nowhere to call him in Swedish: "Damn Fascist."

 No.69172

>>69170
NOT CANON NOT CANON NOT CANON

 No.69173

File: 1618074518664.png (154.95 KB, 1390x1314, here.png)

>>69172
>A, MA DAJ!!

 No.69174

>>69170
WARNING!== ==WARNING!== ==WARNING!

THIS CONTENT IS NOT CANON AND IS (SUS)PICIOUSLY EASTERN EUROPEAN IN ORIGIN (POSSIBLY RUSSIAN HACKERS?)

 No.69176

>>69174
Hrvatska ljepota.

 No.69177

>>69176
IS THIS RUSSIAN??? ARE YOU HACKING ME?????????

 No.69179

>>69176
Russian bot detected.

 No.69215

>>69177
>>69179
Ja ne znam hakirati :(

 No.69217

>>69215
Za manje od troškova Big Maca, pomfrita i koka-kole možete kupiti pogaču svježeg kruha i malo dobrog sira ili pečene govedine u kojoj ćete uživati ​​puno više.

 No.69228

>>69217
Sve to jedem.
Dobro bi mi došao jedan dobar štek.

 No.69275

Bump

 No.69537

File: 1618146251233.png (6.24 KB, 250x250, 1617848556816.png)

bumping out of necessity

 No.69555

File: 1618149533285.mp4 (17.73 MB, 1280x720, Swedish Adventure Simulato….mp4)

I turned this GEM of a thread into a video. Please don't die!

 No.69556

>>69555
>555
checked and blessed post

 No.69560

>>69555
blessed

 No.69566

>>69555
holy GEM what is the music that you used though?

 No.69567

>>69555
Thanks for putting three of my ideas here.
I am using different device.

 No.69570

>>69566
That's just background music from the first Pokemon games.

 No.69576

File: 1618152427554.jpg (89.05 KB, 726x960, 8c3.jpg)

>Pokemon
Great video tho

 No.69577

>>69570
I am used to the first generation

 No.69579

>>69567
I am here

 No.69580

>>69555
sovl...

 No.69581

File: 1618155191110.jpg (454.82 KB, 1199x1199, smt_nocturne.jpg)

>>69576
>BIBLICALLY ACCURATE POKEMON

 No.69582

>>69576
Whats the middle game under beard chad? It is illegible to me.

 No.69583

>>69581
SMT 3 remastered wasn't much of a gem.

 No.69584

>>69581
featuring Sneed from Sneed's Feed and Seed

 No.69585

>>69584
and Omčo

 No.69593

File: 1618159831703-0.jpg (270.68 KB, 2500x1875, schizoplier arrives.jpg)

File: 1618159831703-1.jpg (233.85 KB, 2500x1875, schizoplier trapped.jpg)

>>69162
You greet Markiplier as he walks in, but he appears not to hear you.
He begins speaking as though he is recording a wholesome gaming video.
Upon closer inspection, you notice that it is not Markiplier at all, but an escaped schizo from the Mental Asylum who merely thinks he's Markiplier.
"Markiplier"'s video intro abruptly cuts off when he notices the Soylent. He glides toward it, his hungry eyes telling of long solitary confinement sentences and heavy ration penalties.
As he grabs the Soylent, the box falls on the unwitting victim's head, trapping him.

 No.69596

>>69593
seal the box shut, write "free soylent" on it, place it as bait outside the cabin, then wait

 No.69605

File: 1618161202565.png (769.95 KB, 1249x1137, terrorist.png)

>>69593
Two strangers knock on your door. They present themselves as Green Bean and GigaPunisher.
They came to inform you that there is a terrorist under the name "Neo-Kim". He felt into gamma ration with Green Bean and became a mad scientist who keeps saying N-word.
They say that you are a good choice to stop him.

 No.69606

File: 1618161234931.jpg (184.79 KB, 1500x997, soylent trap.jpg)

>>69596
You quickly secure the box with heavy-duty tape, taking no chances with this experienced escapee.
You pull the box outside the cabin and into the road, writing "Free Soylent" on it and posting another Craigslist ad.
Within minutes, the place is going to be crawling with hungry soy boys. It might be a good idea to prepare in some way before the inevitable stampede.

 No.69609

>>69606
>>69606
Say the n word

 No.69610

>>69605
WARNING
DO NOT READ THE RUSSIAN NON CANON

 No.69611

>>69606
put a sign on the cabin that says "more samples inside".
then open the front door and hide behind it

 No.69620

File: 1618161810713.jpg (185.52 KB, 1500x997, impjak n word.jpg)

>>69609
Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a bizarre, inexorable impulse to say the n word. It pushes out all other thoughts, the word is all you can think of.
You decide to say it, feeling relieved after letting it out. But this relief is quickly replaced by ice-cold dread, as you remember that saying the n word is a crime punishable by death in your native Sweden. The thought-monitoring anti hate speech microchip in your brain sends an instant execution order to Sweden's authorities. You can already hear the helicopters in the distance.
Now, along with the incoming soy boy stampede, the might of the Swedish law enforcement agencies is zeroing in on your location.

 No.69623


 No.69633

File: 1618162292104.jpg (58.62 KB, 1002x857, deus ex soy food.jpg)

>>69560
>>69556
>>69567
>>69576
>>69580
Thanks, Chuds.

>>69566
Here:
0:00 - Cerulean City/Fuchsia City (Fire Red/Leaf Green)
1:27 - Lavender Town (FRLG)
1:49 - Celadon City (FRLG)
2:19 - Trainer Battle (FRLG)
2:45 - Fortree City/Secret Base (Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald)
4:07 - Gym Leader Battle (RSE)
4:22 - Gym Leader Victory (RSE)
4:31 - Route 111 (RSE)
5:07 - Poké Mart (RSE)
5:28 - MiniMusicMan - Crazy La Paint (Markiplier's outro theme)
I'll update the video with a list of the music I've used at the end.

 No.69662

>>69633
Pokémon needs to take a break and Metroid Prime 4 should be released. I would like it to have M rating just by having one scene.

 No.69666

File: 1618163713796.png (565.33 KB, 600x800, pokemon.png)


 No.69669

>>69666
2017 was basically just "2016 is over".

Back then when making fun out of soy was truly special.

 No.69670

>>69666
the soy is right though

 No.69672

>>69670
Depends when it's fun and when it's annoyance.

 No.69675

>>69555
holy heckin' kino

 No.69680

File: 1618164789117.jpg (92.98 KB, 644x800, 00b.jpg)

>the soy is right though

 No.69682

File: 1618164913770.png (35.61 KB, 359x410, soyak_looking_up_sigh.png)

>>69680
>00b.jpg

 No.69683

>>69682
is that a soyquote or your reaction when you see the filename?

 No.69687

>>69683
reaction

 No.69693

>>69620
Drill a hole in schizoplier's box and masturbate into it so some of your nut gets in his mouth

 No.69712

>>69693
yikes making this into porn now are we?

 No.69782

File: 1618173431955.mp4 (23.42 MB, 1280x720, Swedish Adventure Simulato….mp4)

Updated version of >>69555 with the new lore:
>>69593
>>69606
>>69620

>>69666
I grew up with Gen 3. (´・ω・`)

Feel free to suggest other music. I'll also release a version without BGM and only the TTS.

 No.69785

>>69782
lol tho

 No.69789

>>69782
The [sic]s make me lolkeklmao

 No.69791

>>69789
shut the fuck up child

 No.69795

File: 1618175371787.png (82.9 KB, 640x730, 777320.png)

>Uh that game is for children bro.

 No.69796

>>69795
who the fuck are you quoting?

 No.69797

>>69796
wait nvm tbh baka

 No.69800

>>69712
I think it will allow a lot more fingerboys to be born quicker than just manually cranking them out 5 at a time if the jizm can take over the body of the schizo. Then the new brood of imp schizo fingerboys can fight the swedish government

 No.69823

File: 1618178931680.png (158.87 KB, 600x803, 7385430.png)


 No.69824

>>69823
I just linked your video while shilling on 4chud

 No.69826

>>69823
lol you used my markiplier gigachad edit

 No.69827

>>69823
some serious gemage right here y'all

 No.69833

>>69824
somebody needs to bump it. i'm banned for racism so i can't lol

 No.69834

>>69833
based

 No.69835

>>69833
>banned for racism
yikes, im glad they banned your bigot ass out

 No.70092

Bumping to protect from sproke and coal

 No.70123

File: 1618230340511-0.png (84.1 KB, 1194x795, impjak sign.png)

File: 1618230340511-1.png (57.38 KB, 881x750, impjak hiding 2.png)

>>69623
Despite the mounting pressure, you maintain your cool and decide to plot your next course of action. Using some extra wood, you scrawl on the side of the cabin indicating that there are more samples inside the shack.

You notice that the sun is setting and night approaches. While this won't be a problem for you since you lack eyes, it will make navigating the park difficult should other nocturnal beasts of prey be wandering about. You decide to hide behind the cabin's ajar door in wait for any fingerboys, soyjaks, or law enforcement officers that might show up.

 No.70129

>>70123
watch your bait carefully from the safety of your hiding spot

 No.70165

File: 1618240201130.png (42.49 KB, 700x469, impjak window.png)

>>70129
You leave from your post behind the door. You can't see but you can smell that there is a pool of blood forming beneath the box you left outside, which seems strange as there are no fingerboys around.

 No.70167

>>70165
order some fingerlings keep watch (specifically they should watch the skies for helicopters) while you creep outside and look inside the box

 No.70171

>>70165
damn this has seriously got slow burn a24 type horror fells to it

 No.70179

>>70171
hope they don't ruin it with a cheap jumpscare

 No.70378

Rai no Sho

 No.70572

bumping this absolute gem

 No.70774

Bump

 No.70840

File: 1618316269402.png (26.79 KB, 706x505, impjak box.png)

>>70167
You order some juvenile fingerlings to keep watch of the cabin's perimeter while you creep outside to check the trap you laid out. Despite your enhanced hearing, you surprisingly detect no noise coming from the box, save the sound of pooling blood.

 No.70882

>>70840
cut the cord and carefully open the box (make sure not to stand directly above the opening), then peek into it

 No.70979

bumping to prevent this gem from shitty sprokeposters

 No.71020

File: 1618325397691.png (32.2 KB, 573x409, soyboy scare.png)

>>70882
You cautiously unsecure the trap and slowly lift open the lid of the box, when suddenly...

 No.71087

>>71020
let out a bloodcurling fingerboy scream, then try to befriend jumpscareplier. you need his help against the law enforcement

 No.71107

>>71020
AAHH!

 No.71200

File: 1618334672558.png (1.97 MB, 1500x997, impjak scream.png)

>>71087
You let loose a guttural screech. To your surprise, schizoplier remains unmoving. It seems likely that he is dead. You wonder what could have caused his sudden and unexplained blood loss.

 No.71201

File: 1618334699736.png (329.42 KB, 815x720, f31.png)

>>71087
GigaPunisher comes out of nowhere to help you.

 No.71209

>>71200
You see the Soyjak head that the Fingermother spat out earlier >>66310
, it's making a subtle humming noise and has a blue aura around it

 No.71210

File: 1618336838626.png (38.82 KB, 287x176, jotamic.png)

>>71200
Before you go to sleep, some man comes out of nowhere to kill you for killing his uncle.

 No.71211

soyfuck fucking suckcs

 No.71214

File: 1618337265287.jpg (16.96 KB, 600x600, 040.jpg)

>>71211
That wasn't nice.

 No.71242

File: 1618342913443.png (29.61 KB, 697x466, impjak spirit.png)

>>71209
Suddenly, a wild floating soyjak head appears. You recognize it as the one that was spat out alongside you by the fingerboy matriarch. A strange blue aura surrounds it, and you can make out the faint sound of static.
>hmmmmhemmmhememmm... *brzzz*- zip thank you listeners, for tuning in to the British Broadcasting B-*errrzip*

What could it mean?

 No.71245

>>71242
attempt to communicate but carefully

 No.71249

>>71201
>>71210
You should try some suggestions that aren't just "random character comes out of nowhere"
Think of something that would actually take the story somewhere and makes sense based on the existing lore

 No.71253

File: 1618343790659.png (347.41 KB, 559x1245, soyjak arm.png)

>>71245
Before you can say anything, the strange entity opens its elongated mouth from which an arm begins to protrude. Wait... could it be?

 No.71257

File: 1618343955507.png (73.82 KB, 1054x1616, the doctor.png)

>>71253
It's... it's... it's Doctor Soyowicz!!!!

 No.71267

>>71257
ask for his assistance against the swedish law enforcement

 No.71299

File: 1618346108027.png (792.2 KB, 900x506, soyshake.png)

>>71267
Impboy: Doctor Soyowicz??? What are you doing here?
Soyowicz: Ach, nein! My experiment vas a failure! Ze patient in ze box had escaped ze asylum. Vhen I tried to adminizter ze remote BBC therapy it destroyed hiz eardrumz!
Impboy: So that's what happened! But... wait, why were you in that head?
Soyowicz: Ah! It was mein reconnaizzance vezzel! It emits ze BBC frequenzies!
Impboy: But why were you in the fingermother's stomach earlier?
Soyowicz: Ach! Much to mein embarrassment, I vas caught by ze fingerboys vhen I entered ze park. Danke for coming along and saving me, mein little wormy friend!
Impboy:No problemo, friendo! Say, how about you and I team up? I might be expecting some unfriendly visitors later and could use the backup.
Soyowicz: Zay no more, mein comorade! I vill assist you in ze upcoming battle, and perhaps acquire new patients for testing!

Doctor Soyowicz has joined your party

 No.71302

>>71299
you need to enlist more allies before the battle.
jump into the head and take off before the helicopters arrive

 No.71304

Isn't this thread near the bump limit? if it is let's make a new thread when it hits the limit.

 No.71308

Soot, raise the bump limit

 No.71315

>>71308
but wouldnt it be so heckin nice to have a fresh new thread for such an important part of the story though?

 No.71319


 No.71325

>>71319
yes seether

 No.71333

>>69555
Now impjak posts this on his twitter anime porn retweet account he is too afraid to keep public for more than one day at a time. Schizophrenically switching between public and private.

 No.71350

>>71333
checked but you are a retard

 No.71386

File: 1618357527130.png (42.59 KB, 1790x1436, soy map.png)

>>71302
Together, with Doctor Soyowicz, you hop into his Nuclear-Infused Gyrating Gizmo Embarkment Relocation v.5 (or NIGGER5 for short) and take off in search of additional allies for the upcoming battle. You instruct your fingerlings to stand guard of the cabin until you return.

Choose your destination. (feel free to choose any other location in the southwest not listed)

 No.71387

>>71386
>Relocation
*Relocator

 No.71390

>>71386
Las Soygas

 No.71391

lol this thread has a higher quality than every thread on qa right now combined

 No.71393

File: 1618358132221.png (3.02 MB, 1573x1065, soyjak vegas.png)

>>71390
You arrive with Doctor Soyowicz in the fabulous Las Soygas.

 No.71394

>>71393
Fail to overcome gambling urges and enter the nearest indian-owned casino

 No.71395

>>71393
shit, I forgot the change the sign.

 No.71455


 No.71457

File: 1618368298473.png (2.77 MB, 1573x1065, soyjak vegas.png)

>>71455
FIXED

 No.71472

bumping this gem

 No.71503

>>71249
Thanks, kid.

 No.71512

File: 1618400629336.png (2.07 MB, 1409x830, impjak casino.png)

>>71394
You and Doctor Soyowicz enter the first casino you see. You are greeted by an indigenous man at the entrance. He asks you to please put on your mask to help save lives and stop the spread of COVID-19.

 No.71514

>>71512
King of the Hill

 No.71516

>>71512
better do as he says if you want to maintain your good relations with soyowicz.

try to look around for allies in the casino

 No.71522

>>71516
lol i do this

 No.71523

File: 1618402155129.png (140.57 KB, 1805x765, impjak casino 2.png)

>>71516
Knowing that it will please the herr doctor, you don your mask in agreement with casino policy. The two of you make your way over to the craps table in search of allies.

 No.71524

>>71523
try to explain your situation to the dealer, and try not to sound like a schizo

 No.71525

File: 1618402973661.png (1.46 MB, 908x643, trump casino.png)

>>71524
You approach the dealer and inform him of your situation. You tell him that you're looking for allies in your fight against the Swedish police force and rival fingerboy hordes, but before you can finish your sentence he cuts you off.

The D: Impboy, was it? Let me tell you, I've come across a lot of fingerboys in the past. A lot, let me tell you. They can be nasty, but you seem alright.
Impboy: HOLY GUACEMOLE!!! P-P-PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP???
The D: That's right, impboy, it's me. Your president, Donald J. Trump.
Impboy: But... what are you doing here??
The D: Didn't you read the sign? This is the Trump Casino and Resort Las Vegas, sweetie. The best, let me tell you. I'm working here undercover while operation Shadow President is underway. Very top secret, let me tell you.
Impboy: That's amazing! So will you join us in our quest?
The D: Of course, just let me wrap things up here, folks.

 No.71526

>>71525
next up you'll want to enlist the aid of the indians in the reservation. go there

 No.71540

>>71525
Before Trump became a lolcow. I wish he was cool.

 No.71556

File: 1618412016062.png (368.34 KB, 529x637, soyak_tranny_balding_insan….png)

>lolcow

 No.71578

>>71556
I am 19-year-old, still have my genitals and I don't wanna be a tranny.

 No.71583

File: 1618416634607.png (50.41 KB, 1784x1434, soy map 2.png)

>>71526
You hop back in the NIGGER5 with Doctor Soyowicz and begin your journey to the Navajo Indian Reservation. Trump tells you that he will meet the two of you at Capitol Reef National Park after he finishes decoding another message from his loyal compatriot, Q.

 No.71586

File: 1618418023583.png (152.26 KB, 1100x1100, soyak_dies_at_hospital_cry….png)

>>>71556 (You)
>I am 19-year-old, still have my genitals and I don't wanna be a tranny.

 No.71590

File: 1618418335212.jpg (34.15 KB, 461x394, zoomie_wojak_soy_edited_mo….jpg)

>lets fucking goooo

 No.71610

>>71583
make small talk with soyowicz on the way

 No.71695

>>71512
I would trust this man to massage my wife

 No.71706

>>71586
Remove glasses, shave a beard with few hairs and unoil a hair which can cover my forehead and you have me.

 No.71719

File: 1618425220507.png (1.01 MB, 908x643, fum.png)

>>71583
However, a shadowy figure appears out of nowhere telling Trump where is Impjak.
Trump doesn't want to say it even if it costs life so he tells the figure: "Fuck you, dude. I won't betray him."
The shadowy figure replies with: "Very well."
The shadowy figure kills Trump, but the figure did hear him talking about Capitol Reef National Park so the figure goes there.

 No.71721

>>71719
TRUMP NOOOOO
Why is he still in the casino tho

 No.71729

>>71721
Wait nvm I'm retarded I forgot trump didn't get in NIGGER5

 No.71754

File: 1618427544680.png (148.21 KB, 1678x901, impjak talk.png)

>>71588
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>71610
You and Doctor Soyowicz have a little heart-to-heart on the way to the reservation.

Impboy: How did you manage to escape from the mental asylum, doctor?
Soyowicz: Ach, it vas my greatest idea yet! Using advanced BBC treatment, I vas able to trick the guards into believing zat I vas the deceased doctor Soyberg. Zey transported mein body to ze dead jakker pile, vhere I was able to craft my latest creation, the NIGGER5 that ve are inside of now, out of a deceased patient.

 No.71802

File: 1618428178171.png (57.64 KB, 483x641, sprokerd.png)

FUCKING GEM!

 No.71817

GUMP

 No.71818

>>71754
push the BBC therapy button when soyowicz isn't looking

 No.71827

GEMY

 No.71851

bku o gem

 No.71926

>>71721
>>71723
Oh, crud. I thought he didn't come with them.

 No.71962

Let's keep this thread alive.

 No.71966

File: 1618434366577.png (964.13 KB, 1479x920, mon.png)


 No.71984

>>71969
Sexier?

 No.72045

File: 1618438729682.jpg (24.25 KB, 401x487, 1596749708319.jpg)

What is this gem doing outside of page 1?

 No.72065

>>72061
he looks like a NPC

 No.72066


 No.72067

>>72061
nigga y did u delete

 No.72069

File: 1618443313364-0.png (5.67 KB, 161x258, indian.png)

File: 1618443313364-1.gif (438.71 KB, 250x400, indian3.gif)

File: 1618443313364-2.gif (348.2 KB, 250x400, indian2.gif)

here is my indian character again

 No.72072

>>72069
lol i do this

 No.72080

>>72069
kek I’m using these

 No.72144

emergency bumping

 No.72226

>emergency bumping

 No.72229

File: 1618466123429.jpg (23.3 KB, 640x334, IMG_20200825_042904.jpg)

Bumping this absolute gem of a thread

 No.72247

File: 1618477774095.png (181.48 KB, 800x800, 0e040f4e46db6c3ac9844e384c….png)

>>72069
>indian
Native. American.

 No.72248

>>72247
I N D I A N
N
D
I
A
N

 No.72249

>>72248
Wow chud. This isnt even a microagression this is full blown bigotry. Educate yourself on minorities' struggle mayo.

 No.72251

>>72247
Indigenous, sweetie.

 No.72252

File: 1618480666096.jpg (35.26 KB, 575x568, 1617607016097.jpg)

>>72251
Abbo, mate!

 No.72256

File: 1618484038133.png (17.54 KB, 1241x636, impjak button.png)

>>71818
When the doctor isn't looking, you press the button labelled "BBC Therapy." Suddenly, the entire machine begins to whirr up and rumble uncontrollably.

Soyowicz: Ach, nein! Vhat have you done, you mischievous little 'jak??

 No.72259

>>72256
Shit in both your hands

 No.72260

>>72259
lol i was writing something very elaborate just as you posted that but i think your idea was better then mine.

 No.72262

>>72260
I'm glad you appreciate my eye for tactics

 No.72265

>>72259
after doing so
cover your body with shit

 No.72266


 No.72289

bump limit?

 No.72290

>>72289
gem though

 No.72350

File: 1618492497049.png (172.65 KB, 1549x885, impjak poop.png)

>>72259
You panic as the machines around you begin malfunctioning. You poop in your hands to relieve the stress. Soyowicz does not seem pleased

Soyowicz: Vhat are you doing???
Impboy: It's an anxiety thing, doctor, everybody's moving so fast all of a sudden, it freaks me out. Pooping gives me control. It's a thing!

 No.72393

>>72350
brace yourself for the emergency landing

 No.72515

File: 1618514967249.png (60.4 KB, 600x600, finalboss.png)

>>72393
>>72350
After a while, some figure comes out of nowhere. Showing a face of a 30-year-old virgin wearing some kind of an alien suit.

 No.72520

>>72515
NO NOT THIS AGAIN STOP THE RUSSIAN PROPAGANDA

 No.72521

>>72515
WARNING: EASTERN EUROPEAN INTERFERENCE

NOT CANON

 No.72524

>>72515
What does this retard get out of making these posts?

 No.72532

>>72521
COME ON!!
>>72524
I just wanna participate in a story and I find this thread one awesome gem.

 No.72536

>>72532
You can participate, but none of it will be canon until you come up with something that makes some sort of sense within the existing story instead of random characters appearing out of nowhere

 No.72553

>>72536
Aw, man.

 No.72554

>>72553
Anyways, keep this gem going.

 No.72570

File: 1618520070639-0.png (244.91 KB, 761x673, impjak sproke.png)

File: 1618520070639-1.png (73.08 KB, 401x782, soyowicz rip.png)

>>72363
>>72393
You begin vomiting sproke to form a protective cocoon around you as the ship goes down. Doctor Soyowicz is impaled by numerous pieces of glass and metal.

 No.72573

>>72570
Try to figure out where the ship will crash/has crashed

 No.72578

>>72570
Literally crying and shaking rn. I can't believe Soyowicz is dead

 No.72580

>>72570
NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO soyowicz was such a good boyerino!!

 No.72585

>>72570
holy fuck i cant fucking fuck believe hes dead.

 No.72596

>>72570
wtf, i would say it's too early for him to die but this story isnt paced like a traditional story

 No.72607

File: 1618530701565.png (3.08 MB, 1398x949, impjak forest.png)

>>72573
You wake up hours later from within your cocoon. It seems you have strayed off course and crash landed in Petrified Forest National Park. Doctor Soyowicz's whereabouts are unknown.

 No.72611

>>72607
cut open the cocoon and go search for soyowicz. he might still be alive

 No.72614

File: 1618531424907.png (16.97 KB, 697x466, impjak park.png)

>>72611
You claw open your brittle sproke cocoon and begin navigating the park in search of Doctor Soyowicz. Hours pass without sign of him and you worry it may grow dark soon. Despite the urgency of your quest, you can't help but admire the splendor of nature before you. Truly, Allah's (PBUH) creations are a sight to behold.

 No.72617

>>72614
you need to seek shelter before nightfall. use your fingerboy claws to tunnel into the soil. maybe you can find something buried there as well

 No.72625

File: 1618533390150.jpg (180.79 KB, 640x590, STOP IT!!! soy.jpg)

>sticky

 No.72626

SOOTS=GODS

 No.72629

File: 1618533763990.jpg (97.56 KB, 265x435, soy7.jpg)

>SOOTS=GODS

 No.72755

Since soot was kind enough to sticky this thread, I thought I'd give anyone joining in a rundown on what our boy has been up to thus far:
>eats a mosque and then his house
>travels to Capitol Reef National Park
>amputates his leg and dies in a drug-fueled stupor
>is reincarnated as a tapeworm inside the belly of a fingerboy mother
>assumes direct control over a fingerboy hatchling
>becomes an impboy
>travels to a campground cabin and is visited by some peculiar characters
>viscously assaults a norwegian tourist
>springs a trap on a schizo and holds him hostage
>says the n-word, notifying swedish police to his location
>links up with Doctor Soyowicz (need it or keep it?)
>travels with Doctor Soyowicz to Las Soygas
>meets Donald Trump
>travels to Indian reservation but causes a malfunction in Doctor Soyowicz's ship
>crash lands in Petrified Forest National Park (you are here)

Hope this helps.

 No.72759

>>66202
yoooooooooooooooooo

 No.72762

>>72755
Abridged and soulless, read the full version and not this

 No.72768

File: 1618574889887.png (108.49 KB, 1141x999, impjak hole.png)

>>72617
Using your serrated fingers, you tunnel deep into the Earth in search of shelter. The sediment becomes harder to burrow through the further down you go, but perhaps if you dig deeper you can discover something valuable.

 No.72770

File: 1618574992483.png (16.79 KB, 792x800, minecraft.png)

>>72768
This is just like heckin' Minecraft!

 No.72776

>>72768
impjak discovers a lost soylent mine.

 No.72778

>>72776
Soylent does not come from mines, take your meds

 No.72783

File: 1618578013250.png (60.14 KB, 659x566, impjak mine.png)

>>72776
oh shi-

 No.72788

>>72783
The soy mine will release a large stream of soy. Place the mine behind you (towards the entrance of the hole) so that the soy stream pushes you further and deeper into the earth.

 No.72820

Gotta admit it, I hate niggers.

 No.72847

>>72820
Do you use words they popularised?

 No.72852

>>72848
NIBBAGERRY

 No.72855

>>72820
Day of the reparations soon cracker

 No.72858

File: 1618594709419.png (63.76 KB, 659x566, impjak SOYED.png)

>>72788
You swiftly grab the mine with your left hand. You don't know enough about explosives to disarm it, but you using your deduction skills, you believe you could use the mine to proper yourself deeper into the earth. Unfortunately, you aren't quick enough to get it into position and it releases right into your face.

The hole you dug begins to fill with soylent.

 No.72865

>>72858
you attempt to drink it all, you haven't chugged soylent in a while but it's worth a try

 No.72879

File: 1618596132766.png (109.31 KB, 1141x999, impjak SOYED 2.png)

>>72865
You drink the delicious Soylent™. The hole is empty. You sit at the bottom of the hole, safely out of harm's way.

Unfortunately, the mine still has some juice in it, and begins refilling the hole. What would you like to do?

 No.72881

>>72879
Go to sleep happy that you have been blessed with a source of high-protein sustenance

 No.72980

File: 1618608019194.png (22 KB, 1500x1000, impboy swimming in soylent.png)

>>72881
You go to sleep, untroubled by the rising soylent level, and dream blissful dreams about soylent consumtion.

As you wake up, you find yourself floating in a sea of soylent. The national park appears to have been completely flooded by the soylent mine.
You can feel a slight northward current.

 No.72981

>>72879
Grab mine and throw it outside the hole

 No.72982

>>72980
Which flavour

 No.72993

File: 1618609851284.png (86.16 KB, 1500x1000, impboy swimming 2.png)

>>72982
You taste the soylent. It's cacao flavoured.
Your favourite (wholesome!).

It feels like the current is getting stronger.

 No.73025

>>72993
Cocoa? Damn, I grew out of it after tasting it as a beverage.
Still, I never tried Soylent because it's not in our stores, at least in my city.

>>73001

What if Impjak's phone got destroyed in a liquid of Soylent?

 No.73033

File: 1618612613860.png (145.13 KB, 1000x2250, impboy whirlpool.png)

>>73001
You take out your phone to snap a pic for the 'gram, only to find that it's broken. You can't tell whether it happened during the crash or the flood.

As you look up from the broken phone, you see that the current has brought you to a whirlpool. At this point the current is too strong for you to fight back, and you're dragged into the depths. Before losing consciousness, you can feel that you're being dragged through some kind of tunnel.

When you wake up, you find yourself in some kind of sewer.
Strange. No one should be living in the national park.

 No.73035

Climb up the platform, then cautiously analyze the area, and try to hear what's behind door 4

 No.73036


 No.73037


 No.73040

File: 1618613863970.png (65.04 KB, 600x600, impboy eavesdrop.png)

>>73035
You climb onto the platform. This area seems calm enough. The platform extends quite far in both directions. You think you can see more doors in the distance.

You try to hea what's on the other side of the door.
Upon pressing your ear (swedish win btw) against the door, you hear the rythmic noise of some kind of machinery. Additionally, you think you can hear distant sounds of rattling metal and raving screams.

 No.73045

>>73040
Slightly open the door and peek inside

 No.73046

>>73033
>>73040
kino
Let me know if you want me to continue. Sorry for being so inconsistent in my schedule, I've been busy this week.

 No.73051

File: 1618615945937.png (46.41 KB, 1000x750, impboy room.png)

>>73045
You carefully open the door slightly, and peek inside. The coast seems clear, and you decide to enter.

Upon entering, you find the source of the machine noise - some kind of water pump.
At the far end of the room, you see a pipe lying in what looks like a pool of blood. There's also a piece of plastic on the ground.
The door at the far end is open.

>>73046
no problems. I'm think I'm gonna give up for the day pretty soon

 No.73052

go through the door

 No.73055

File: 1618617340845.png (47.93 KB, 1000x750, impboy room2.png)

>>73052
As you pass through the already open door, the way splits into three. The blood trail seems to lead into the middle route.

The sound of screams and rattling metal is getting louder. You can make out a few words:
>...WILL...
>...will NOT...
>...doctor say...
>...therefore...

 No.73056

>>73055
you decide to take a brief guac break, taking a bowl and scarfing down handfuls of guac

 No.73057

File: 1618618264867.png (45.1 KB, 903x550, sad impboy.png)

>>73056
Joyfully, you get ready to devour some guacs'.
The next moment, disappointment hits, as you realise that your entire supply of guacs' was lost to the soylent deluge.

Suddenly, you hear voices approaching. You must quickly choose a course of action.

 No.73058

>>73057
you decide to fly(?) or glide(?) to the ceiling and hold on to whatever is up there, to observe what comes in without it seeing you

 No.73064

File: 1618620053588.png (114.19 KB, 1000x750, impboy hiding.png)

>>73058
You gracefully swoop onto the ceiling just as two white clad soyjaks enter the room. You hear the them talking:
>You found him, Dr. Soyswedeson?
>Ja, Dr. Sprokeberg. He didn't mäyk it far. Vi found him sneaking around in ward 4. He had harmed himself on some mätal debris, and häd to be admitted to ward 5 får emergency cäre.
>How did he hide from us for so long though? I thought we had searched ward 4 already?
>>though
>>>though
>>>>though
>>>>>though
After performing this strange ritual for a few minutes, the one called Dr. Sprokeberg seems to capitulate, asking:
>By the way, Dr. Soyswedeson. How is that ear doing?
>Very väll, my fränd! Ever since de operation, I've had excellent hearing!
After finishing their conversation, the shorter one enters the staircase, while the taller one follows the hallway to the left. You are alone again.

 No.73065

>>73064
You feel Nostalgic, a fellow Swede is nearby, you decide to follow Soyswedeson and consider trying to find help with him.

 No.73066

>>73064
don't know bout y'all but this lore is litty

 No.73067

>>73066
fr though
>though
>>though
>>>though
>>>>though
>>>>>though

 No.73068

>>73067
>>>>>>though
>>>>>>>though
>>>>>>>>though
>>>>>>>>>though
>>>>>>>>>>though

 No.73070

>>73068
By the way, Dr. Nigger. How is that ear doing?

 No.73072

File: 1618620980590.png (18.09 KB, 1000x750, impboy hallway.png)

I'm gonna take a break now. If the original OP wants to take back the reins, that would be great.

>>73065
You climb the stairs.

As you exit the stairwell, you find yourself in a long hallway, which appears to be lined with holding cells.
At the far end of the hallway, you can see an open passage. Did the Swedish doctor walk there?

 No.73074

>>73072
you decide to continue down the passage, but before that you take a peek inside the second cell on the right side of the hallway.

 No.73077

File: 1618621418354.png (36.17 KB, 708x800, 1597958592458.png)

>>73070
Pretty good actua-AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH

 No.73093

File: 1618622672447-0.png (17.81 KB, 999x444, impjak hallway.png)

File: 1618622672447-1.png (23.04 KB, 1021x695, impjak subject.png)

>>73072
I gotcha fam. Thanks for the help!

>>73074
You continue further down the corridor, however, something catches your attention in the second cell on the right. A strange, pale creature seems to be cradling itself in the corner of the room.

 No.73095

>>73093
You decide it's a good idea to vomit the remaining sproke in your body on the patient

 No.73096

>>73093
carefully approach and offer him soylent as a sign of peace

 No.73103

File: 1618624477928.png (25.82 KB, 1027x644, impjak spit.png)

>>73095
You try vomiting up the last remaining sproke stored in your digestive system, but unfortunately it is not enough to reach the patient.

 No.73104

>>73103
You get mad at wasting the last of your Sproke reserves, you decide to test out the ritual you heard earlier, you say "what's up though" to the patient.

 No.73106

I'll be back tomorrow y'all. Hopefully I'll be less busy this weekend.

 No.73214

>>73077
Loled out loud to this

 No.73230

File: 1618660731280.png (155.01 KB, 1104x761, impjak thougher.png)

>>73104
With your sproke reserves emptied and your belongings lost in the deluge, you are left with few options. Having studied the strange interaction between the two uniformed men from earlier, you whisper a phrase through the bars of the cell.

Impboy: What's up, though?
[no response]
Impboy: I said what's up, tho-

 No.73231

>>73230
you slowly turn around, asking
>who is this though?

 No.73233

File: 1618662460336.png (1.04 MB, 723x1200, impjak btfo.png)

>>73231
Impjak: Who is this th-

 No.73238

>>73233
as your consciousness fades away, you slip into feverish dreams

 No.73242

File: 1618664234727.png (38.01 KB, 859x547, impjak bruised.png)

>>73238
As your consciousness fades, you feel the life being drained from within you. Suddenly, you find yourself in a frightening, yet familiar place.

 No.73245

>>73242
try to make sense of the situation. the white robed men, the strange underground building, the belligerent inmates.

have you been here before?

 No.73248

File: 1618665227959-0.png (26.43 KB, 820x546, impjak thinking.png)

File: 1618665227959-1.png (35.16 KB, 818x547, impjak hand.png)

>>73245
You halt your panicking and try your best to analyze the situation you're in. The men in white uniforms from earlier... the hidden complex you're in now... the strange, malformed inmates... what could it mean?

Suddenly, as if to snap you out of your daze, a hand appears out of the darkness.

 No.73250

>>73248
grab hold of the hand and drag yourself out

 No.73253

File: 1618666364636-0.png (31.85 KB, 859x547, impjak hand 2.png)

File: 1618666364636-1.png (756.83 KB, 768x938, impjak btfo 2.png)

>>73250
Before you can grab hold of the hand, it grabs you. And then suddenly...

 No.73258

>>73253
it's incredible that you're still alive after all these beatings. it must be because of your inhuman fingerboy physique.

as you know he can break walls, you try to trick him into breaking the wall into cell 096.
your only hope at this point is to make the two patients fight each other

 No.73358

gem

 No.73366

>>73358
the thread do be autosaged

 No.73372

>>73366
it's actually stickied and on page 1.

for some reason stickied threads still fall to the bottom of the catalog

 No.73395

>>73258
Go outside and get a life.

 No.73397

File: 1618687564910-0.jpg (18.39 KB, 308x497, mask not fit soyjack.jpg)

File: 1618687564910-1.jpg (132.53 KB, 900x1200, 1594060743613.jpg)

File: 1618687564910-2.png (24.05 KB, 600x800, mark10.png)

>Go outside and get a life.

 No.73400

>>73397
Yap, thi is me lol

 No.73409

File: 1618688949298-0.png (131.12 KB, 319x594, impjak injured.png)

File: 1618688949298-1.png (79.44 KB, 887x592, impjak wall.png)

>>73258
Although heavily injured, your heightened fingerboy durability allows you to tank the musclebound thougher's blows.

Knowing that you can't beat the monster alone, you use your wits and agility to trick the thougher into breaking patient 096's cell wall, freeing him.

 No.73412

>>73400
damn you're pretty ripped bro ngl

 No.73424

>>73409
climb into 096's cell keeping your eyes closed, forcing the thougher to gaze upon soy-096 if he tries to pursue you

 No.73492

File: 1618696821120-0.png (124.28 KB, 1313x761, impjak wall 2.png)

File: 1618696821120-1.png (13.52 KB, 443x620, patient 096.png)

>>73424
You flee into the cell, but the monstrous thougher follows you. All seems hopeless until-

HE AWAKENS

 No.73493

>>73492
jump upwards with all haste

 No.73495

File: 1618698081590.png (754.47 KB, 1307x777, impjak fight.png)

>>73493
You duck for cover as the two behemoths square off. The shockwaves from their battle rattle the entire facility, alerting the guards.

 No.73499

>>73495
you notice that sometimes the two patients seem to resemble japanese cartoons which are illegal in sweden due to being pedophilia, you decide to make your way into the hallway so you won't get in the crossfire

 No.73507

File: 1618699766786-0.png (86.01 KB, 1026x746, impjak limp.png)

File: 1618699766786-1.png (354.12 KB, 2609x1497, swolesome run.png)

>>73499
You stumble out of the room into the ward 4 hallway while the two are busy fighting each other. You heart someone approaching from down the hall.

ENTER SWOLESOME SOYJAK

 No.73508

>>73507
*You hear someone

 No.73512

>>73499
Sweden is based??

 No.73515

>>73507
Duck out of his way, a roided-up 'jak crashing into you is the last thing you need right now

 No.73528

Will the fact it's sticky save it? It's about to die at the bottom of the page.

 No.73530

>>73528
*bottom of the catalogue

 No.73532

File: 1618701271553.png (107.51 KB, 1045x935, impjak captured.png)

>>73515
You try to hide from the incoming orderly, but your injuries hamper your agility and the wholesome hunk catches you with ease.

Swolesome: Mmmmmmmm, fresh fingerboy! This will go great with my impossible whopp! But what's this? Oh no, the poor guy is injured. Bruised meat would ruin my ruin my diet. Hmmmm... what to do?

(also swolesome is natty)

 No.73533

>>73532
*Bruised meat would ruin my diet.

Sorry y'all, I'm making a lot of grammatical errors.

 No.73542

>>73528
yeah, it's safe

 No.73543

>>73532
Swolesome soyjak feeds you whey protein to heal your mangled body

 No.73565

>>73532
Make small talk with swolesome soyjak and ask him where exactly are you

 No.73735

File: 1618746860859-0.png (24.61 KB, 348x203, impjak whey.png)

File: 1618746860859-1.png (66.4 KB, 1500x1000, impjak healed.png)

>>73543
Swolesome: Here little buddy, have some of my whey protein. I have a spoonful leftover from my pre-workout.

Miraculously, your wounds begin to heal and you find your strength returning. You've even got washboard abs!

>>73565
You ask swolesome if he still plans on eating you. He thinks about it for a moment before answering.

Swolesome: No, little buddy, it looks like you've had a rough enough day as it is. Besides, I've got to restrain the patients in the other room. I can't do that if I'm carrying around an FB. At least not without breaking a sweat!

Swolesome rushes down the hall to break up the fight between the two escaped patients. You are all by yourself again.

 No.73737

>>73735
Now your strength is regained, try spooging out some fingerlings. If they can avoid Swolesome and other individuals that may eat or harm them, they could provide useful reconnaissance.

 No.73743

File: 1618747979851.png (96.49 KB, 1140x736, impjak orders.png)

>>73737
With your strength restored and your sproke reserves replenished, you have all the energy you need to splooge out some fingerlings for reconnaissance. You give the four runts orders to scout the building and report back to you. In the meantime, you decide to do some exploring of your own. Down the hall is the ward 4 offices, while further back from where you came is the ward 5 medical wing, al>though that would require sneaking past swolesome and the two escaped patients.

 No.73756

File: 1618757318919.webm (17.2 MB, 500x500, ultimate soy rage.webm)

>"impboy"? fucking seriously? wouldnt "fingersoy" sound better?

 No.73764

>>73743
play it safe by going to the offices first. the swedish doctor might be willing to listen to your predicament

 No.73810

>>73764
Zlatan Ibrahimović

 No.73817


 No.73820


 No.73867

            ,、             ,、
         l \          / l
         |   \   __ /  |
         |    `´     `'    |
        /  '       ':::::::ヽ、
       /    (●),   、(●)、.   ',    
       |       ,,ノ(、_, )ヽ、,, .:::.   |    
       ',       `-=ニ=- ' .:::::::   |
       ヽ      `ニニ´  .::::    /
         \__          /
     ,. ' ´ ̄           < ̄
    /   r-r‐、           ヽ
   /    (ヽ \ y(\   ` ヽ、 ,ー―- 、
   |     f\\\ヽ ヽ:::::::..... \      ヽ、
   |       \ 'ー(  }(ー;;)、:::.  ヽ     ::::`....-、
   |       |\  ' ノ::::`´:::::::   ',      ::::::r'
   |       | / ´   |:::::::::::     |     ` :::::!
   |    ,. -―‐'     |       人       Y
   |  /         i      /  ヽ、    /
   | /          ,'__,. '"      `ト-'"
   ',           /            |
    ヽ         /             ,'
    \      /             /
      >――'´          fト、   {
    /                `''    i

 No.73885

>>73867
          ,、             ,、
         l \          / l
         |   \   __ /  |
         |    `´     `'    |
        /  '       ':::::::ヽ、
       /    (●),   、(●)、.   ',    
       |       ,,ノ(、_, )ヽ、,, .:::.   |    
       ',       `-=ニ=- ' .:::::::   |
       ヽ      `ニニ´  .::::    /
         \__          /










   ,. ' ´ ̄           < ̄
    /   r-r‐、           ヽ
   /    (ヽ \ y(\   ` ヽ、 ,ー―- 、
   |     f\\\ヽ ヽ:::::::..... \      ヽ、
   |       \ 'ー(  }(ー;;)、:::.  ヽ     ::::`....-、
   |       |\  ' ノ::::`´:::::::   ',      ::::::r'
   |       | / ´   |:::::::::::     |     ` :::::!
   |    ,. -―‐'     |       人       Y
   |  /         i      /  ヽ、    /
   | /          ,'__,. '"      `ト-'"
   ',           /            |
    ヽ         /             ,'
    \      /             /
      >――'´          fト、   {
    /                `''    i

 No.73886

>>73885
i decapitated it lol

 No.73893

File: 1618775150544.png (88.53 KB, 1028x750, impjak office.png)

>>73764
You head to the ward 4 offices. You run into the man you saw earlier in the pump station. The two of you stand in silence, neither daring to move, until finally the white-robed man says to you:

Soyswedeson: Are you a patient? You are not wearing any clothes. Although swolesome does not weär clothes either...

How do you respond?

 No.73902

>>73893
Impjak says: I'm a Swede as well, I came here looking for Dr. Soyowicz

 No.73903

>>73893
Imagine trying to explain this image to someone

 No.73909

>>73903
It would already take a while to explain an impish soyak being reincarnated as a tapeworm by a schizo and taking over a fingerboys body.

 No.73928

File: 1618780461370.png (91.42 KB, 1028x750, impjak office 2.png)

>>73902
You inform the doctor that you are a swede. He asks you to prove it, and you recite the beautiful and inspiring national hymn of Sweden:
~Spiderswede, Spiderswede,
~Spends his days, forcing memes
~Posts a fail, any time,
~Evading bans like it's a crime
~Look Out!
~Here comes the Spiderswede.

~Is he strong?
~Listen men,
~He's got a million VPNs.
~Can he make a shitty thread
~Take a look overhead
~Hey, there
~There goes the Spiderswede.

The doctor rubs a tear from his eye. It has been so long since he has visited his homeland that he had forgotten the enchanting language of his native Sweden.

Soyswedeson: Älright, Impböy, how can I help you?
Impboy: Well, doctor Soyswedeson, I'm looking for a friend of mine who is also a doctor. His name is Soyowicz, have you seen him?

Upon hearing this, the squat doctor falls silent again. Something is clearly wrong.

 No.73929

>>73928
ask him about ward 5 and if soyowicz is there

 No.73935

File: 1618781010137.png (94.08 KB, 1028x750, impjak office 3.png)

>>73929
You continue pestering the doctor about the whereabouts of Doctor Soyowicz. You ask if he's being held in ward 5. The doctor drops his sproke at the mention of ward 5. He looks visibly nervous.

 No.73942

>>73935
Intimidate him for answers.

 No.73943

>>73935
pick up the sproke for him as a friendly and disarming gesture

 No.73945

>>73935
I will love to post this out of contecst in 3 years and make everyone confused and think I'm a looney.

 No.73947

>>73945
I'm an extreme newfag, how the fuck did shitty wojak edits spiral into an entire imageboard with a wiki dedicated to soylore?

 No.73948

>>73947
autism and retards trying to stop it giving it power.

 No.73950

>>73948
keyed

 No.73953

File: 1618785093212.png (117.12 KB, 676x1021, Soy51.png)

this thread is one of the best things to happen to this site in a while

 No.73982

File: 1618789793513-0.png (93.27 KB, 1028x750, impjak knife.png)

File: 1618789793513-1.png (101.11 KB, 1028x750, impjak coma.png)

>>73942
Increasingly irritated by the doctor's refusal to cooperate, you decide that it's time for some more serious "convincing." You pull out your trust pocket knife and begin barking orders. The doctor starts sweating even more profusely, and before you can get any answers out of him he falls to the ground with a thud, knocking himself unconscious.

(DISCLAIMER: SPROKE DOES NOT CAUSE DIABETIC SHOCK)

 No.73983

>>73982
tie him up (gently and carefully since he's a fellow swede) and disguise yourself using his coat and ID badge

 No.74208

File: 1618836237590.png (76.79 KB, 1027x750, impjak doctor.png)

>>73983
You tie up the now comatose doctor (making sure to be extra gentle to your fellow swede as a courtesy), but not before donning his doctor's gown and ID badge as a disguise. You leave the foreverial tiedup soyswedeson propped up against the wall with his sproke as you plot your next course of action.

 No.74209

>>74208
Try to check on the fingerlings you expelled earlier, they might have some useful info

 No.74214

File: 1618837399727-0.png (88.96 KB, 1027x750, impjak doctor 2.png)

File: 1618837399727-1.png (11.41 KB, 787x361, asylum map.png)

>>74209
Three of your fingerlings return. They report the findings from their scouting mission, from which you construct a mental map. The fourth fingerling apparently hasn't returned from Ward 2.

 No.74237

Go to the Administration but take a peek at ward 2 before doing so

 No.74241

>>74237
>>74214
Lol I'm so used to not replying to soijak

 No.74275

File: 1618845376473.png (73.78 KB, 1027x750, impjak fridge.png)

>>74237
You head down to administration through ward 3, but run into another doctor in the ward 3 offices. The doctor looks quite displeased about something.

Sprokeberg: Ah, Dr. Soyswedeson, there you are! Have you seen my last sproke? I could have sworn I left it right here in the fridge. Wait a minute, something seems different about you...

 No.74280

>>74275
Make up a cover story about meds overflowing into the sproke supply and causing hallucinations

 No.74286

File: 1618847413186.png (75.71 KB, 1027x750, impjak fridge 2.png)

>>74280
You improvise a cover story about meds overflowing into the sproke vat, causing hallucinations. At this accusation, Sprokeberg raises an eyebrow.

Sprokeberg: Causing hallucinations? Who do you think you're talking to? I invented Sproke, it can't cause hallucinations even when taken with meds. It was invented to be administered with meds, in fact. And besides, I haven't had my daily Sproke today, weren't you paying attention?

Dr. Sprokeberg seems very suspicious now.

 No.74290

>>74286
repeat what Sprokeberg said in a mocking tone while holding up a schizojak drawing

 No.74292

>>73982
SoySwedeson looks like he came from that Hobbit cartoon.

 No.74313

File: 1618852097238.png (129.17 KB, 600x800, nigger41.png)

do you plan on making a part 2 to the youtube video soon?

 No.74318

>>74313
I look like this.

 No.74366

>>74318
you don'tlook like that

 No.74399

>>74318
you will never be a sneedwholesomeimpjak

 No.74567

>>74318
You wish you looked like that

 No.74621

File: 1618872676359.png (109.75 KB, 1038x776, ClipboardImage.png)


 No.74735

File: 1618904355721.gif (4.77 MB, 500x477, Impish dance party Ears.gif)


 No.74762


 No.74779

>>74621
no one does this

 No.74831

AVENTUREBROS IT'S OVER.

 No.74833

File: 1618933794283.png (79.14 KB, 598x800, impish sad.png)

>>74831
noooooooooo

 No.74838

File: 1618934631808.png (82.15 KB, 518x688, 64658485645.PNG)

I killed both of the Impjak adventure guys.

 No.74839

File: 1618935907141.png (431.86 KB, 1000x2250, doctor duel.png)

>>74290
You scribble an artistic rendition of Dr. Sprokeberg, and write down what he said next to it. You hold it up in front of him while mockingly enunciating the words.

At first, he seems taken back by your display.
However, he soon composes himself.

>Heh, I see you still got it, Dr. Soyswedeson. Don't expect an easy win though!

The next moment, he starts scribbling furiously on a piece of cardboard. Moments later, he shows it to you.
On the cardboard is a depiction of your face, accompanied with your quotation of him.

How do you respond?

 No.74840

>>74839
Pull a piece of card board out and quote him again, and slap a piece of paper on it that says >though

 No.74841

File: 1618937476562.jpg (8.42 KB, 214x236, Soy43.jpg)

>>74735
>leebaiting

 No.74842

File: 1618938067830.gif (1.11 MB, 1087x1200, 1618792437765.gif)

>>74841
>>leebaiting

 No.74860

blessed thread

 No.74941

have you been busy lately impjak adventure creators?

 No.74945

File: 1618958283782-0.png (72.85 KB, 1026x748, impjak board 1.png)

File: 1618958283782-1.png (66.73 KB, 1026x749, impjak board 2.png)

>>74840
You pull out another piece of cardboard and begin quoting Dr. Sprokeberg again, when suddenly an announcement comes on over the intercom.

According to Buzzfeed.com and independent fact checkers on Snopes, Derek Chauvin has just been found guilty for the murder of humble community leader, George Floyd. You and Dr. Sprokeberg both take a knee to honor Floyd's memory in solidarity with the brave members of the jury.

>>74941
Yeah, sorry. My schedule is a little hectic lately.

 No.74946

>>74945
ah jeez I messed up impjak's arm in the second panel

 No.74958

>>74945
seems like your friendly duel has cleared sprokeberg's suspeicions.

tell him that soyowicz needs to be brought to Administration for some paperwork (because of his failed escape attempt)

 No.74999

nigger though

 No.75023


 No.75024

File: 1618987119117-0.gif (512.55 KB, 299x400, swede1.gif)

File: 1618987119117-1.gif (530.9 KB, 299x400, swede2.gif)

File: 1618987119117-2.gif (250 KB, 299x400, swede3.gif)

>>74906

 No.75083

File: 1619002782175.png (85.6 KB, 1026x748, impjak talking.png)

>>74958
With Sprokeberg's suspicions quelled, you falsely inform him that patient Soyowicz needs to be brought to Administration for some paperwork because of his failed escape attempt.

Sprokeberg falls for your bluff and points you to the elevator down the hall. He also asks if while you're up there you can see if the head doctor has seen his missing sproke.

 No.75085

>>75083
Don't go up the lift. Reunite with the three fingerlings from earlier and work together to find the forth missing fingerling from Ward 2.

 No.75089

File: 1619003928366.png (101.96 KB, 1027x750, impjak hall 2.png)

>>75085
Before you take the lift to administration, you decide to check out ward 2 first in search of the missing fingerling. Your three other fingerling helpers greet you at the entrance.

The lights appear to be off in ward 2, and a strange, otherworldly presence can be felt in the air.

 No.75090

>>75089
OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE STRANGER THINGS!!!

On a serious note, put the three fingerlings in your pocket. You don't want to lose them like the other one. Plus this way it's easier to protect them (you are family after all). Slowly proceed, feeling the wall for a potential light switch.

 No.75091

File: 1619006007958-0.png (91.64 KB, 1027x750, impjak pocket.png)

File: 1619006007958-1.png (82.98 KB, 726x467, impjak hugging wall.png)

>>75090
Before progressing down the hallway, you place the fingerling trio into your pocket to keep them safe.

The hallway is even darker the further down you walk, and you begin hugging the wall in order not to get lost. You feel around for a light switch with no luck.

 No.75098

>>75091
Yikes bros this is getting bone chilling
Use your sensitive Swedish ears to focus your hearing, maybe you'll hear the missing fingerling's near-inaudible distress screeches

 No.75099

>>75091
wholesome

 No.75123

Where tf are the Swedish police what's taking them so long

 No.75124

>>75123
lol I think everyone forgot about that segment of the plot.

 No.75166

>>75123
They can't track impboy while he's underground

 No.75201

File: 1619033141967.jpg (18.6 KB, 620x332, 6225d82c3ef26eb2d2f3ecdc9b….jpg)

>>75091
You see the stairs leading to what it looks like undeground stairs hospital (or whatever) hasn't mentioned.

(Chud's note: I ain't sure if this counts as canon because I am not a good story teller and I downloaded the image on the phone. It was supposed to be SCP-87 and I say it because I ain't sure if you can escape it.

 No.75204

>>75201
that ain't really how the story work you're supposed to tell OP what impjak will do next, the images and what happens next is up to the OP

 No.75207

File: 1619033581960.png (70.5 KB, 676x386, impjak hearing.png)

>>75098
You use your superswedish hearing to listen for the missing fingerling's distress screeches, only to be met by dead silence.

Suddenly, a faint noise breaks the silence.

 No.75211

>>75204
Oh, thanks.

 No.75220

>>75207
instinctively reply to the whisper with "take your meds schizo"

 No.75242

File: 1619035266286-0.png (54.04 KB, 688x470, impjak meds.png)

File: 1619035266286-1.png (110.32 KB, 1000x750, impjak chud.png)

>>75220
Being a "doctor", you tell what you assume to be a patient to take his meds. To this you hear a faint reply "you will never be a real woman."

Out of the darkness steps a horribly disfigured creature. You've only read about these since their mere presence is forbidden in your native Sweden, but you believe this to be a bigoted, incel chud.

 No.75256

>>75242
YIKES. You ought to tell him how problematic and toxic his ideology is, but not before asking him about the missing fingerling

 No.75261

>>75220
His skin is becoming yellower and his hair purpler. You fear that letter N comes on his forehead like he is about to say THE N-WORD!

 No.75269

File: 1619036148537.png (139.51 KB, 1436x836, hydrachud.png)

>>75256
Offended by his hurtful words, you inform him of how toxic and bigoted his ideology is, and how he should check himself before you're forced to wreck himself.

Suddenly, you realize that those aren't arms by his side, but additional heads. This isn't your average chud... this is the rare and elusive ==HYDRACHUD==

The heads, in sync with one another, reply:
>cope, tranny
>fuck you [n-word] (omitted for sensitivity)
>we will NOT take the meds

 No.75277

>>75269
Tell him that if he comes within 6 feet of you you'll slash him with your unwashed corona ridden nails

 No.75279

>>75269
you hatch a devious plan to make him take his meds.

he has heads (with mouths) instead of hands.
throw meds in his direction while yelling "catch!", hoping that he accidentally ingests them

 No.75281

File: 1619036585285.png (156.9 KB, 1436x836, hydrachud 2.png)

>>75277
The hydrachud draws near. You bear your fingerboy talons and inform him that you have the 'rona underneath your nails, so he better not try anything funny. The chuds begin snickering to themselves.

"What's so funny??" you ask. The middle one licks his lips. Suddenly, you are washed with a wave of fear. "W-what did you do with my baby fingerling, vile monster?!"

 No.75284

>>75281
You are shocked and angered, with a shaky voice you utter: Trump Lost.

 No.75285

>>75284
They don't care about it because they know that he is another puppet of ((them)).
You ask who ((they)) are, but no answer.

 No.75286

File: 1619037096193.png (177.24 KB, 1436x836, angry hydrachud.png)

>>75284
You are shocked and distraught at the thought that this madman may have eaten your beloved fingerling, but know just the thing to bait this chud into lowering his guard.

In a shaky voice, you utter: "Trump lost."

The hydrachud begins seething with rage, and begins to charge while reciting white supremacist dogwhistles:
"TWO MORE WEEKS!"
"STILL YOUR PRESIDENT"
"TRUST THE PLAN!"

 No.75287


 No.75288

>>75286
You mention that he is for Israel, but they don't care.

 No.75291

File: 1619038306224-0.png (87.53 KB, 787x503, impjak meds toss.png)

File: 1619038306224-1.png (155.52 KB, 1436x836, hydrachud 3.png)

File: 1619038306224-2.png (227.95 KB, 1436x836, hydrachud 4.png)

>>75287
"Heh... just according to keikaku." you say to yourself before tossing a handful of meds at the enemy and exclaiming "catch!"

Instinctively, the hydrachud readies itself to catch whatever you're throwing, but because it doesn't have hands it opens its mouths and ingests the meds by mistake. Suddenly the hydrachud stops dead in its tracks and begins to turn pink.

 No.75292

>>75291
wait and watch as the transformation unfolds

 No.75293

>>75291
Its my chance!
Punch every chud face as hard as I can!

 No.75294

>>75292
My idea was funnier

 No.75295

File: 1619039238285.jpg (117.85 KB, 600x800, 1616121935940.jpg)

>>>75292 (You)
>My idea was funnier

 No.75300

>>75295
Its true though

 No.75307

Is any of this actually happening? For all I know swedejak is still hallucinating/dreaming from the meds he ate at the beggining

 No.75308

>>75307
yes we are though

 No.75324

Impjack wakes up and finds out that hes hallucinating because he was forced to eat shit out of a niggers anus

 No.75327

Impjack wakes up and finds out that he's hallucinating because he accidentally swallowed some cheese from a cryboy's cock

 No.75337

Impjack tastes some good cunny

 No.75357

File: 1619062333441.png (103.61 KB, 392x287, donturtelli3 (im not CC).png)


 No.75580

>>75291
Take the chud's glasses away, and escape while they can't see

 No.75681

File: 1619151282040.jpg (78.57 KB, 708x800, 1584973452457.jpg)

where are the storytellers?

 No.75684

>>75682
But where are they though

 No.75734

WHERE ARE YOU STORYANONA aa

 No.75737

>>75734
I might hop in and make a new entry later today. I waited because I wanted to see what the main storyanon had in mind

 No.75749

File: 1619190664817.png (26.35 KB, 474x474, bd84ff1deb34bebf639610895e….png)

>storytellers

 No.75750

File: 1619190767546.png (286.02 KB, 900x900, btgc.png)


 No.75829

File: 1619205883948.png (164.29 KB, 811x1049, 917.png)

>>75291
They transform into some bald retard telling you: "WAKE UP!! YOU ARE LATE FOR THE WORK!!"

 No.75830

File: 1619206092025.png (283.36 KB, 1436x1686, femchud.png)

>>75292
You stand back and observe as the transformation unfolds before you. It seems the emergency HRT meds you had on hand did the trick. The hydrachud is now a hydracher.

 No.75832

File: 1619206208681.png (138.12 KB, 600x800, fas.png)

>>75830
Hehe. PP

 No.75834

>>75737
Thanks bro :)
Sorry about the inconsistent schedule, I didn't anticipate this being so popular.

 No.75835

>>75830
Punch them into a wall while holding masks, forcing them to wear the mask.

 No.75847

File: 1619208350719-0.png (784.69 KB, 870x676, impjak mask.png)

File: 1619208350719-1.png (38.9 KB, 987x585, chud btfo.png)

>>75835
As the (formerly) hydrachud stands there in shock at her new womanly body, you use the opportunity to enforce the facility's COVID-19 guidelines.

Charging towards the chud, you scream "MASK UP, CHUD!" before violently masking all three heads in a flurry of slaps, sending the feminized monster flying through the wall.

You stand there proudly, knowing that you've followed all the proper steps to dealing with chuds: turning them into a girl, forcing them to wear a mask, and physically assaulting them.

 No.75848

>>75847
impregnate body

 No.75852


 No.75856

>>75847
hold a moment of silence for your lost fingerling, then proceed to administration

 No.75857

File: 1619209077303.png (193.44 KB, 852x1002, 8e8b8999d51b2500d343e758d9….png)

>Uhm, sweety, that's not consistent with the established lore

 No.75868

>>75857
cope stop sexualizing impboys chudfuck

 No.75883

File: 1619216826677-0.png (88.15 KB, 1027x750, impjak sad.png)

File: 1619216826677-1.png (96.75 KB, 1027x750, impjak fingerling.png)

File: 1619216826677-2.png (15.72 KB, 926x361, updated impjak map.png)

>>75856
Tearfully, you hold a moment of silence for your lost fingerling. His sacrifice will not be in vain...

Suddenly, something steps forth from out of the darkness. IT'S YOUR LOST FINGERLING! Overjoyed with emotion, you give your baby a big ol' fingerboy hug. Afterwards, he explains what happens:
Apparently, the lights are off all the way to ward 1, and the elevator to the generator room is down. However, the elevator to the entrance was still operational and he was able to sneak outside of the facility. It seems that the entire building is actually carved into the side of a cliff. Very strange.

Do you still wish to proceed to Administration?

 No.75885

>>75883
Cautiously proceed to administration

 No.75888

File: 1619218237652.png (41.23 KB, 598x658, impjak elevator.png)

>>75885
You proceed up the elevator to Administration. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This plays over the loudspeaker.

 No.75889

>>75888
you get inside the elevator and press the button to go to the administration

 No.75963

>>75888
Checked
Which version of Sweet Dreams, Eurythmics or Marilyn Manson?

 No.76030

>>75888
exit the elevator once it stops, and take a look at your surroundings

 No.76033

>>75963
they play the Eurythmics version first and then Marilyn Mansons version straight after

 No.76036

Added much new material to the wiki article https://wiki.soyjak.party/index.php?title=Impjak_Adventure

 No.76037

>>76036
keyed

 No.76041

File: 1619274413836.png (16.7 KB, 987x585, impjak admin.png)

>>75889
>>76030
You take the elevator to the top level and exit into the head doctor's chambers. You see him communicating with someone over video, although you can't make out who it is through the static.

Head doctor: Are you sure about this, Director?
Strange man: Of course I'm sure, now stop calling me and get back to your job. I don't want to hear from you again until *bzzzzzzzzt* is sorted out.
Head doctor: I didn't quite catch that, Director.
Strange man: Don't tell me the servers are down again...
Head doctor: No, sir, we just had some soylent overflow lately and our systems are running at max capacity. I'm sure we'll have everything up and running again before it churns into chees-
Strange man: DON'T SAY THAT WORD
Head doctor: Right, of course, Director, my apologies.
Strange man: Ugh... don't call me back until you have something to report, Dr. *bzzzzzzzzt*

The video feed cuts out.

 No.76042

>>76041
greet the head doctor and tell him that you need to see soyowicz about filling in some paperwork

 No.76043

>>76041
explain your situation to the doctor

 No.76045

File: 1619275510944.png (126.41 KB, 613x800, head doctor soy.png)

>>76042
You approach the head doctor, who swivels around in his chair to greet you.

Soystein: Ah, Dr. Soyswedeson! How can I help you, today?
Impboy: Well, head doctor, I need to see docto- I mean, patient Soyowicz for some procedural paperwork. Do you think you could call ward 5 and have him sent down?
Soystein: Paperwork? Hmmmmm, I suppose we do need to log his escape attempt, although I'm not sure how lucid he'll be after the operation...

 No.76048

>>76045
Ask him about who he was just speaking too

 No.76050


 No.76051

File: 1619276237351.png (177.86 KB, 612x800, soy tracer.png)

>>76048
You ask the head doctor who he was speaking to.

"Oh, nobody important," he replies, "just a fellow foot enthusiast."

 No.76052

I thought Dr. Gigachad was the head psychiatrist?

 No.76053

>>76052
The wiki says he "was (is?)" is the head psychiatrist, so I just went with Soystein since I wasn't sure.

 No.76054

>>76051
inquire about sprokebergs missing sproke

 No.76055

File: 1619277565854.png (130.75 KB, 610x800, soy sproke.png)

>>76054
You inquire about Dr. Sprokeberg's missing sproke (nice catch btw I totally forgot about that).

Soystein smirks and chuckles to himself, "Haha, swiped Dr. Sprokeberg's sproke again, have you Dr. Soyswedeson? I saw you drinking it earlier."
He catches his composure and reminds you that stealing office supplies from coworkers is against company policy, but slyly winks afterwards.

 No.76056

>>76055
make some small talk as you wait for soyowicz to be brought up

 No.76061

>>76055
damn he kinda cool and friendly

 No.76062

File: 1619278534824.png (43.59 KB, 936x800, asylum rock.png)

>>76056
You decide now would be a good time to inquire about the nature of the facility while you wait for Soyowicz to arrive.

You ask the head doctor about where the two of you are now. He seems a little perplexed by your questioning, but answers nonetheless:
"We are in the mental asylum, of course. We relocated to Petrified Forest National Park after our previous facility in Capitol Reef was compromised by... escaped test subjects. To the naked eye, this facility would appear to be nothing more than a cliffside, but it actually houses one of the most advanced mental institutions humanity has ever seen. Drank too much sproke, have you, doctor Soyswedeson? Your head must be feeling hazy if you've forgotten where we are."

 No.76063

>>76062
swolesome soyjak might become a problem once you try to sneak out with soyowicz. ask soystein about him, and try to find out about any weak points he may have

 No.76064

File: 1619279331395.png (81.41 KB, 1056x937, swolesome energy.png)

>>76063
Believing that swolesome soyjak may prove to be a problem later when you and Soyowicz hatch your escape, you ask the head doctor if he has any weaknesses or vulnerabilities that an enemy could exploit.

"Swolesome soyjak?" the doctor replies, "swomesome soyjak, he is... invincible."

 No.76065

>>76064
*swolesome soyjak

 No.76068

>>76064
Ask soystein if there's any guards around carrying weapons you could steal

 No.76069

>>76064
seems like he needs to be avoided at all costs

 No.76176

>>76064
tell soystein you're impressed and ask how could both swolesome and he himself (soystein) have achieved such kind of invulnerability

 No.76189

File: 1619309170686.png (47.48 KB, 741x823, soy guard.png)

>>76068
You begin asking Dr. Soystein about the guards and whether or not any of them are carrying weapons that you could steal. The head doctor is very confused by your line of questioning and begins to suspect that you are not the real Dr. Soyswedeson.

Just then, the elevator door dings and out steps a man in a government agent uniform wheeling around a patient, although you can't quite make out who the patient is...

 No.76190

>>76189
You ask the guard about the patient

 No.76195

File: 1619311000090.png (131.47 KB, 760x1194, cyberwicz.png)

>>76190
You ask the guard who the patient he's with is. The guard does not respond. He wheels the patient closer until suddenly you realize who it is that you're looking at.

It's... it's...
Doctor Soyowicz!
My god, what has science done?

 No.76216

>>76195
try to hide your shock/disappointment and bring soyowicz down to the offices for the "paperwork".
don't try to communicate with him until you're out of sight of the other staff members

 No.76233

>>76195
The latest in soyborg technology

 No.76257

Story summary on the wiki is now fully up to date
https://wiki.soyjak.party/index.php?title=Impjak_Adventure#Story

 No.76284

>>76257
y'all...
this is powerful

 No.76287

>>76257
Also the dialogue sections look really great. Nice work, dude.

 No.76289

>>76195
>>76216
Pretty sure you're just replying to yourself faggot

 No.76301

>>76195
Grab the joystick on soyowicz sholder and perform the konami code

 No.76305

File: 1619375201770.png (38.02 KB, 929x739, soyer door.png)

>>76216
In spite of Dr. Soyowicz' new horrifying, mechanical appearance, he is still your friend. You decide to inquire with Dr. Soystein about having him brought down to the ward 3 offices for "paperwork," in order to hatch your escape, but before you can ask Soystein tells the guard to lock the elevator doors.

 No.76307

File: 1619375353481.jpg (34.3 KB, 400x400, Rc68ed3cfeec6317b99481791c….jpg)

>>76305
Put him in a rear naked choke and tell him to open it up or he goes to sleep

 No.76311

>>76305
shit, you're in trouble now.
flip the red switch on soyowicz and see what happens

 No.76312

>>76311
>>76305
Yeah you're replying to yourself

 No.76317


 No.76323

>>76317
We will see

 No.76340

File: 1619381628817-0.png (438.94 KB, 606x607, impjak choke.png)

File: 1619381628817-1.png (6.61 KB, 692x436, doctor button.png)

>>76307
You place the guard in a rear naked choke and tell him to open the door or he's taking a one-way trip to dreamland.

Dr. Soystein, alarmed at your sudden betrayal, presses the emergency button hidden under his desk, alerting the remaining guards and orderlies to your location and activating a Code Red lockdown.

 No.76343

>>76340
You choke harder before the guards are finished locking the place down and try to find an escape but remember that swolesome soyjak is still around.

 No.76346

>>76343
also trying to simultaneously confront Dr. Soystein about how could he do this

 No.76351


 No.76359

File: 1619382515505.png (104.3 KB, 774x769, soy knockout.png)

>>76343
You successfully choke out the guard, leaving him unconscious on the floor. You begin panicking, knowing that soon the guards will place the facility on lockdown and swolesome soyjak will arrive to stop your escape.

Suddenly, you hear a familiar voice from the middle of the room:
IMPB0Y, LET IT G0

 No.76361

>>76359
Turn around.

 No.76362

>>76361
To the direction the voice came from.

 No.76376

File: 1619383672494-0.png (163.87 KB, 1534x1194, cyberwicz unchained.png)

File: 1619383672494-1.png (5.82 KB, 310x296, soy beep.png)

>>76361
You turn around. The cybernetically modified body of Dr. Soyowicz stands in the middle of the room, having broken free from its bondage. He looks at you with a somber face. If he still had tear ducts, you believe a single tear would be forming below his eye.

S0Y0WICZ: 1T 1S N0T A S1N TO F1GHT F0R THE R1GHT CAUSE. THERE ARE TH0SE WH0 W0RDS ALONE W1LL NOT REACH. S0YSTE1N IN SUCH A BE1NG.

Soystein looks on, mortified. Much like Dr. Frankenstein came to fear his creation, so too has Dr. Soystein.

Suddenly, the antenna protruding from Soyowicz's right shoulder begins beeping.

 No.76378

>>76376
break off the antenna

 No.76379

Not sure what to do now honestly, someone else make a choice.

 No.76380

>>76379
>>76378
Good idea, glad I decided to let someone else reply I would say something stupid.

 No.76385

>>76376
Use your superhuman swedish impboy intelligence to reprogram soyowicz into his previous sentient form

 No.76467

>600 replies
Soitards this us your mindset

 No.76470

File: 1619405440234.png (84.04 KB, 598x800, 1619327687750.png)

>>76467
>600 replies
who cares, if you can't spare the time to enjoy this coming of age story than that is your own problem

 No.76528

File: 1619436452925.png (102.81 KB, 907x602, impjak antenna.png)

>>76378
Using your claws, you hack off the antenna. Soyowicz informs you that it's too late, he's already activated the self-destruct protocol. He tells you to get out of here while he takes Soystein with him in the ensuing explosion.

 No.76529

>>76528
Thank him for his sacrifice then run like hell

 No.76531

File: 1619437431597-0.png (15.89 KB, 268x245, impjak tears.png)

File: 1619437431597-1.png (45.82 KB, 926x731, impjak door.png)

>>76529
You thank Dr. Soyowicz for his noble sacrifice. You rush to the elevator to make your escape, but the door is still firmly shut.

 No.76533

>>76531
Why the fuck would the auto destruct be activated with Dr. Soystein in the room.

Anyway, direct Dr. Soyowicz to stand by the elevator to blow it up while you stand on the direct opposite end of the room as not to be blown up.

 No.76535

>>76533
this means that soystein won't die THOUGH.

>>76531
keep soyowicz close to soystein to make sure his sacrifice isn't in vain.
the guard locked the elevator by pressing the red button. press the green button in hopes of unlocking it again

 No.76541

File: 1619439577850.png (205.76 KB, 1534x1194, soyowicz bursting.png)

>>76533
>>76535
Not knowing what to do, you panic. Should you use Soyowicz to blow open the elevator door or to kill Dr. Soystein? Before you can decide, Soyowicz begins erupting.

 No.76545

>>76541
use soystein as a human shield

 No.76547

>>76544
>>76545
Both of these in this order

 No.76548

>>76541
Kill soystein and use him as a human shield!

 No.76550

File: 1619440696513.png (239.22 KB, 1357x734, soyowicz explosion.png)

>>76544
1T 1S 0KAY, L1TTLE 0NE

Sensing your hesitation, Soyowicz leaps forward towards Dr. Soystein. You reach out your hand one last time, hoping to save your friend, but it is too late. Then, everything goes white.

 No.76554

>>76550
I wake up!

 No.76555

>>76550
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :((((((((

 No.76556

File: 1619441110007.png (45.67 KB, 936x800, asylum meltdown.png)

>>76550
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-zQjpD4Ing

FACILITY SHIC2.0 (ALSO KNOWN AS PETRIFIED FOREST MENTAL INSTITUTION) HAS BEEN VAPORIZED

Deaths (estimated): 204
# of Survivors (confirmed): 17

 No.76557

>>76556
hope that your hardened impboy body saved you

 No.76560

File: 1619441587805.png (13.52 KB, 127x282, impjak awake.png)

>>76554
>>76557
You wake up. You're not sure what happened, but the last thing you remember is Dr. Soyowicz sacrificing himself to stop Dr. Soystein.

Despite being caught in the blast, you surprisingly don't feel any pain. Hmmmmm.... something about you is different, but you're not quite sure.

What form will you take?

 No.76562

>>76560
Turn into a pickle! and Scream "I'm a pickle! I turned myself into a pickle!"

 No.76563

File: 1619441795000.png (4.69 KB, 223x274, USBSoy.png)

>Turn into a pickle! and Scream "I'm a pickle! I turned myself into a pickle!"

 No.76564

>>76560
Become the country of Sweden

 No.76565

>>76562
>I'm pickle swede!
Funniest shit I have ever seen.

 No.76574

File: 1619442718518.png (230.41 KB, 1027x1039, picklejack.png)

>>76562
You have turned into a pickle!

Impickle: *BUUUUUUUUURP* I'm a pickle! I turned myself into a pickle!

 No.76575

>>76574
Figure out where you landed
If you're still in the desert, find cover before you dry up

 No.76576

>>76574
do just like pickle rick did in the original pickle rick episode and attach a rat's limbs to your body

 No.76579

File: 1619443093997.jpg (18.18 KB, 615x323, pickle-rick-cockroach-1-61….jpg)

>>76576
He killed a cockroach first poeser

 No.76580

File: 1619443138171.png (337.03 KB, 917x733, you WILL like this video.PNG)

>>76574
you wake up as impjak in the ruins of the asylum.

you will NOT continue with the awful "it was all a dream" meme

 No.76581

>>76580
Honestly this though

 No.76582

>>76580
this, please this. there's no direction with the pickle storyline

 No.76583

>>76580
stfu, asylum arc is over

 No.76584

>>76580
This. Really, this.

 No.76586


 No.76587

>>76580
This. Im sorry but the story needs to be serious.

 No.76588

File: 1619444265729.png (167.51 KB, 1387x805, soystein lunchbox.png)

>>76575
You observe your surroundings. It appears that you have somehow been transformed into a pickle from Dr. Soystein's lunch box, whose body shielded the pail from the blast.

>>76580
>>76581
>>76582
>>76584
Sorry, am I taking things too fast? I wanted to move on from the asylum, but I can undo the last few panels if this isn't the direction people want the story to go in.

 No.76589

>>76588
No its just one retard samefagging.

 No.76590

>>76588
Eat the cheese

 No.76592

Here, if you guys want to vote on it:
https://www.strawpoll.me/44436351

I know it's a joke comic, but I don't want to mess with the established lore if y'all were having more fun the way things were going in the asylum.

 No.76593

>>76592
soyparty doesn't have that many users, someone is clearly proxyfagging

 No.76595


 No.76596

>>76593
Just in case, I'll return in an hour or so so people have time to vote.

 No.76602

Soystein is technically as invincible as swolesome don't forget that

 No.76634

>>76596
It's done. Pickle imp is here to stay.

 No.76635

File: 1619450112344.png (184.56 KB, 644x800, police.png)

>IP Duplication Checking

 No.76636

File: 1619450178506.png (238.74 KB, 805x1254, 1606990563859.png)

>>76634
>It's done. Pickle imp is here to stay.

 No.76637

>>76588
Impjak picklehops into Soystein's mouth to take shelter from the heat

 No.76638


 No.76639

>>76634
RIGGED
#STOPTHESTEAL

 No.76644

>>76639
this.

FUCK RIGGERS

 No.76645

File: 1619450918418.png (71.67 KB, 385x400, 1614200858295.png)

>It's done. Pickle imp is here to stay.

 No.76646

File: 1619451155650.jpg (67.1 KB, 912x1024, gigachad.jpg)

>Yes I do belive that there are 52 people on /soy/

 No.76648

>>76644
Borderline racist post

 No.76650

How about this
Two new threads
One following the pickleboy story and another thread following a more serious storyline

 No.76651

>>76650
Would be fine but I don't know if OP ants to draw so much

 No.76653

>>76650
i was literally just thinking about this. great minds think alike.

 No.76654


 No.76655

>>76651
We can have multiple drawfags though

 No.76656

>>76650
>Serious storyline
Yikes
Might aswell keep only one instead of 2, when you make it serious you're going to ruin the soul of this tale

 No.76657

File: 1619452454133.png (211.74 KB, 600x800, 1619327779625.png)

>>Serious storyline
>Yikes
>Might aswell keep only one instead of 2, when you make it serious you're going to ruin the soul of this tale

 No.76658

Asylum arc was way to long anyway

 No.76659

>>76656
That's what makes the story so great tho
It has enough seriousness and structure to make the more comedic moments stand out
Making it lolrandomxdmemes actually would ruin the soul

 No.76660

>>76657
Seethe wojacker, your idea is dumb as fuck as would literally create an awful story

 No.76661

>>76658
Wrong, it was slow-burn kino, had great character development and an awesome ending

 No.76662

File: 1619452625047.gif (1.23 MB, 254x254, 1618604226801.gif)

>WHO WANTS TO BECOME THE SERIOUS STORYLINE THREAD DRAWFAG

 No.76663

>>76661
Yeah it had an ending. Why do you want rewrite it?

 No.76664

>>76659
Making a fully serious story with cringy elements is one thing sweety, throughout this thread there is more humor than seriousness

 No.76665

>>76663
The arc's ending was the asylum explosion
After that began the pickle shit, that's what people dislike

 No.76667

File: 1619453061125.png (93.45 KB, 600x800, deformed big chin small mo….png)


 No.76668

>>76665
OP said he will rewind to before the explosion

 No.76670

>>76667
>>76667
Cease being

 No.76672

Are any mods here? I'm planning on making a serious thread and it would be cool if it could be pinned.

 No.76673

File: 1619453278687.jpg (6.59 KB, 187x250, 1618801279469s.jpg)

Someone make a new fucking thread
NOW

 No.76674

on it

 No.76675

If a two-thread system is implemented and this thread remains pickleshit, I guarantee you this one will die and the more serious one will prosper, mark my words

 No.76677

DONE

now we just need it to be pinned.

 No.76678

>>76677
MOOOOOODS

 No.76680

the impjak adventures schism is happening right before our eyes

 No.76682

>>76680
All this because of one rick and morty fan

 No.76684

>>76682
All this because stupid wojackers want a generic serious stuff story

 No.76685

File: 1619453741865.jpg (530.19 KB, 1280x720, wojacker.jpg)

>wojackers

 No.76689

>>76678
Soot wont pin it, he's not one of the autistic purists.

 No.76691

>>76685
It appears that my post wrecked someone's feefees

 No.76694

damn, im going to bed now, see whats happened in the morning.

 No.76695

Soot ban the autistic samefag trying to ruin the game

 No.76696

theres like 3 samefags

 No.76699

File: 1619454399751.jpg (62.01 KB, 638x745, reddit.jpg)

>Soyjak culture-specific characters and locations? No thanks, I'd rather have """ironic""" rick and morty memes

 No.76700

File: 1619454406008.png (75.85 KB, 600x800, 1619197851985.png)

NO. MORE. SOYBROTHER. WARS.
BE. FUCKING. NICE. TO. EACH. OTHER. WE'RE ALL PART OF THE SAME SOYFAMILY

 No.76702

>>76700
I hope all of the other soyposters die a slow and painful death after the anger they got me through today

 No.76703

>>76700
*Soyvil War

 No.76704


 No.76706

can't we have like a compromise where he turns into a pickle but he still has to explore or escape the facility

 No.76707

Impjak died in the explosion
The end

 No.76709

>>76706
Thats what everybody wants, nobody said we will do something else.

 No.76710

>>76706
NO
The rivals brought this upon themselves
Soyjak.party is more divided than ever
Not even soot can stop the imminent collapse

 No.76711

SOYPARTY CIVIL WAR

 No.76712

File: 1619454947298.png (54.56 KB, 1146x395, dad.PNG)

Reminder that non of the anti pickle chuds gave their own anwser to what should Impjak turn into with is something OP wants

 No.76717

>>76699
>>76702
>>76706
PICKLE WON, ASYLUM LOST, GET OVER IT CHUDS

 No.76720

Holy shit the anitpickle thread got deleted

SOY WAR NOW

 No.76722

Soot deleted the fake thread, based.

 No.76723

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOT YOU ARE POURING GASOLINE ON THE FLAMES OF SOYVIL WAR, THIS CAN NOT END WELL

 No.76724

SOY UPRISING, NOW

 No.76725

>>76562
Ok I see my post made people angry so I will change it. Impjak changed into a really swole mucle packed Impjak.

Is this fine?

 No.76726

File: 1619455797897.png (8.77 KB, 939x143, scree.PNG)

>>76725
Proof it was my post.

 No.76728

there is no need to be upset, everyone, just adapt to being a pickle and learn to enjoy it

 No.76735

File: 1619457530098-0.png (140.95 KB, 617x666, impickle cheese.png)

File: 1619457530098-1.png (112.67 KB, 861x579, soy healing.png)

File: 1619457530098-2.png (111.47 KB, 847x598, IMPICKLED.png)

>>76590
You take a bite of delicious cheese. Mmmmmmmm, yummy!

>>76602
Suddenly, Soystein begins regenerating. It seems the blast hadn't quite killed him, but it has delayed his self-healing abilities.

>>76637
Before he can finish regenerating, you hop into his agape mouth.

 No.76736

>>76735
get into his insides and tear his organs before he regenerates

 No.76737

>>76706
OP here, that's what I'm planning on doing. I'm sorry it caused such a divide, I just wanted to speed the story along since I had other things planned outside of the asylum.

 No.76738

>>76735
take over his body like you did with the fingerboy earlier

 No.76739

>>76736
>>76735
take over his body through his brainstem after eating his organs

 No.76740

File: 1619458095312.png (166.01 KB, 847x598, impickle immortal.png)

>>76736
You slip down into his esophagus and discover the immortality crystal in his stomach which causes him to regenerate. You take a big bite out of the crystal, effectively ending his invulnerability.

 No.76741


 No.76742

>>76741
Should he become pickle Dr. Impstein or just Dr. Impstein?

 No.76744

>>76740
>>76741
Check if Soystein had anything cool in his pockets

 No.76745

>>76742
Dr. Impstein with a pickleboy head

 No.76748

>>76745
Nah drop the pickle thing, we are in Soystein body now.

 No.76749

>>76748
ok, but i want to see soystein with swedish fail's head

 No.76750

>>76748
>>76749
the swedehead should be in one of the eye sockets

 No.76751

File: 1619458953425.png (166.55 KB, 587x973, impstein.png)

>>76741
>>76745
You assume direct control over Soystein's body. You are now Dr. Impstein.

You take this moment to recognize that you are dangerously close to entering Sonic OC territory.

 No.76752

>>76751
Check if Soystein had anything cool in his pockets

 No.76753

File: 1619459197103.png (64.96 KB, 1317x769, imp pockets.png)

>>76752
You check your new body's pockets for anything of use, but all you find is meds and more cheese.

 No.76754

>>76751
shout soywizc's name in hopes that he somehow survived the explosion

 No.76755

>>76751
Also if anyone wants to clean up Impstein's design or make him just a normal impstein and not a picklefied one, I would appreciate it.

 No.76756

>>76753
Eath the cheese
and than do this>>76754
Keep meds for later

 No.76758

>>76753
are those the same meds that made us hallucinate the schizojak at the beginning of the adventure?

 No.76761

>>76758
Maybe the solution is to take the meds and come back to reality

 No.76762

File: 1619460992519.png (134.68 KB, 587x973, impstein.png)

>>76755
I cleaned it up a bit.

rather than deplicklifying him entirely, I just desaturated his skin a bit, in order to differentiate him from previous characters

 No.76763

>>76762
dayum he be lookin stylish tho

 No.76765

>>76758
aren't those meds what turned him into a tapeworm in the first place?

 No.76778

>>76737
It's not your fault bro, no one could have known pickletard would show up

 No.76785

File: 1619467017749-0.png (91.68 KB, 490x387, impjak cheese.png)

File: 1619467017749-1.png (419.72 KB, 714x476, impjak rez.png)

>>76756
You chow down on some more delicious cheese. Suddenly, a strange name pops into your head. You're not sure whose it is, but you shout it out loud hoping that whoever it belongs to will hear you.

Impstein: SOYOWICZ!

No response. Now that your vision is returning you begin to make out where you landed.

 No.76787

>>76785
Make a red indian battle call, maybe some of the local Indigenous population will hear you and offer assistance

 No.76788


 No.76789

>>76787
Is it time for >>72069 to debut?

 No.76791

>>76789
Heckin heck yes

 No.76799

File: 1619468619368.png (83.25 KB, 1083x2059, dr. impstein.png)

Before you progress any further on your quest, you notice that your skin pigmentation has whitened, possibly as a result of assuming control over Soystein's body. Your hairline also recedes, leaving you bald.

(I did this to simplify his design since I could tell the pickle colors would be an issue later, let me know if you want him with a new haircut though)

>>76725
No worries, I thought your pickle suggestion was funny and it was fun making pickle impjak.

 No.76801

>>76799
interesting choice, it works well

 No.76803

>>76799
Absolute chad of a 'jak
Personally I liked Soystein's hair but maybe it's easier to keep Impstein bald

 No.76804

File: 1619469170674.png (237.35 KB, 686x619, ClipboardImage.png)

>>76799
give him a haircut like this from my favorite tv show

 No.76805

File: 1619469236356.png (91.52 KB, 600x800, grav1.png)

>>76804
Oh...

 No.76806

File: 1619469638987.png (89.38 KB, 1080x2206, dr. impstein 2.png)

>>76804
kek done

 No.76808

If a part 2 video comes out I think it should end around >>76785 >>76787 or >>76799

 No.76809

>>76806
Also I'd like to point out that my MS Paint drawing of impjak is literally more detailed than fucking rick and morty lmao

 No.76812

>>76806
>>76809
lmfao true

 No.76815

>>76809
Learn the first thing about animation retard

 No.76816

>>76815
This, obviously something animated that you have to draw 24 times for every second of a show is less detailed lol.

 No.76817

>>76816
trannimator cope

 No.76818


 No.76819

>>76815
cryboy

 No.76821


 No.76825

>>76821
He's right though

 No.76829


 No.76832

File: 1619473631260.png (5.44 KB, 265x130, sann.PNG)


 No.76834

>>76832
Nice inspect element.

 No.76835


 No.76839

>>76835
tranimator cope

 No.76845


 No.76852

File: 1619477350767.png (12.25 KB, 427x400, 1515258190305.png)

>animation

 No.76853

>>76852
speaking of which, when's the new video episode coming out?

 No.76861

>>76805
Get killed

 No.76862

>>76805
YOU WILL BE STABBED

 No.76863

File: 1619482423384.png (115.61 KB, 1448x868, impstein natives.png)

Miraculously, your hair grows back, but in a sick new style! You feel your intellect growing with each follicle of hair on your head.

>>76789
Three natives suddenly lunge out from out of the brush. They circle around you, amazed by your height and ripped body. They begin talking amongst themselves in a strange language.

Indian #1: Heyayayayayayayay heyayyayayaya
Indian #2: Ohohohohohohohohohohoho
Indian #3: Crees que este gringo tiene dinero?

 No.76864

>>76863
smoke peace pice with the indians and ask for directions to the nearest city

 No.76865

>>76864
pipe*

 No.76920

File: 1619525262807.png (839.08 KB, 800x800, a83b3cb7be07181c3ee13fd656….png)

>smoke peace pice
>pipe*

 No.76952

>>76920
Thats a joint though

 No.77040

make a new thread, this one is starting to break my phone when i open it

 No.77043

File: 1619537985382.png (159.42 KB, 766x800, 1618678788173.png)

>my phone

 No.77047

File: 1619538336012.png (90.08 KB, 454x520, holding breath soyjak.png)

>.

 No.77049

>>77047
lol thats me after flooding my room with ozone

 No.77073

>>77072
bruh nothing is stopping you from continuing the asylum arc in another thread

 No.77076

File: 1619542031264-0.webm (973.93 KB, 640x800, 1618725186326.webm)

File: 1619542031264-1.webm (973.93 KB, 640x800, 1618725186326.webm)

File: 1619542031264-2.webm (973.93 KB, 640x800, 1618725186326.webm)

>>77072
>thread ruined. the asylum story was kino. this reddit garbage belongs in the trash. soot plz unpin

 No.77077

>>77076
soot please put this on the front page

 No.77079

>>77076
um that isn't my post sweetie

 No.77080

File: 1619542473534.mp4 (2.69 MB, 256x256, painjack.mp4)

>sweetie

 No.77082


 No.77084

>>77076
>>77082
>>77080

sus schizo bitch

 No.77085

File: 1619542795314.jpg (60.63 KB, 376x278, rake soy.jpg)

>meds

 No.77086

File: 1619542969733.png (522.67 KB, 720x1026, 1619111060764.png)

>>77084
how am I sus?
elaborate on how am I sus
what can I do?

 No.77087

>>77085
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_(meal_replacement)
>Soylent was introduced in 2014 after a crowdfunding campaign.[3]
>picture says it was taken in 2010
debunked

 No.77108

>>77087
>he doesnt kno of the beta soy

 No.77110

File: 1619545421820.png (209.72 KB, 971x512, Soy161.png)


 No.77111

garbage thread.

 No.77114

File: 1619545951185.jpg (69.64 KB, 452x363, Soy168.jpg)

>garbage thread.

 No.77115

wow soitards ruin yet again another good thread.

 No.77217

New thread, y'all:
>>77214

I would appreciate it if the mods kept this one stickied a little longer in case there are any new readers.

 No.77231

>>77217
Alright, if this ends up unstickied in the future I'll link an archive of this in the main sticky.

 No.77245

>>77217
archive each image individually, the trannies at archive.org barely archive thumbnails let alone full images

 No.77246

>>77245
forgot my though: THOUGH

 No.77256

>>77231
Thanks bro

>>77245
I have most of them saved, but some I deleted for storage reasons.

 No.80423

File: 1619923154252-0.gif (32.67 KB, 128x128, 1619319658274.gif)

File: 1619923154252-1.gif (32.67 KB, 128x128, 1619319658274.gif)

File: 1619923154252-2.gif (32.67 KB, 128x128, 1619319658274.gif)

>

 No.80523

>>80423
Delete this, I was used to >>77256 being the most recent reply

 No.80599

>>77231
Thanks bro

>>77245
I have most of them saved, but some I deleted for storage reasons.

 No.82976

>>314465959 (OP)
I just saged this thread.

FAQ
What does this mean?
The amount of bumps (points) on your thread account has not increased by my reply.

Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a thread to be unworthy of a bump. These include, but are not limited to:

Rudeness towards other /pol/tards,
Spreading incorrect information,
Memeflagging more than twice a month

Am I banned from 4chan.org?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making threads like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue a formal ban request to the multiple moderators that I know, which may put your replying and posting privileges in jeopardy.

I don't believe my thread deserves a saged reply. Can you un-sage it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But unfortunately, it is impossible to undo it. Even if it was possible, I would only do it in exceedingly rare circumstances If you would like to issue a good natured apology, create a thread with the title “sage unban”. I tend to respond to threads within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of apologies are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the saged reply and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on 4chan.org. I will continue to issue saged replies on similar threads until you improve your conduct. Remember: 4chan is privilege, not a right.

 No.83039

>>77231
Thanks bro

>>77245
I have most of them saved, but some I deleted for storage reasons.



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