My name is sobot and I've always been a really big fan of soyjak.party. But one day, I received a plane ticket from the owner to his own personal soyjak land. I got a bad feeling but decided to go anyway.
When I got to the airport, I saw a HYPER-REALISTIC impjak with bloodshot eyes staring right at me! I tried to ignore it as best as I could and decided to get some food instead.
When I got my burrito, I noticed WEIRD MUSIC PLAYING AROUND ME. Nobody else seemed to notice! Then I heard the dancingswede.mp4 music and got REALLY scared. I would not let this deter me.
I tried reassuring myself by going on the website but the catalog was replaced with a barrage of "TYTD" (total whitey death) posts. But the scariest part was that none of the posts had replies, it was like a ghost town!
Finally, my plane number was called. The ticket receptionist started breathing down my neck and saying "You're gonna have a bad time, sobot." But the scariest part was that he had a LIFELESS STARE.
I got onto the plane and the safety video was replaced with VIDEOS OF ME AT MY HOUSE. Nobody seemed to be confused or react to it.
Finally, after awhile, the plane decides to take off. Nothing strange happened for awhile, until I heard a strange announcement.
"This plane has been HIJACKED and we're going to crash it into the ocean!" Post too long. Click here to view the full text.