It's not that I believe she would date me if she was real, quite the opposite. But if she did exist… just knowing she did would make my existence a lot more bearable, that's all… I've never felt this way about a real person. I've rewatched Punch Line, a nearly decade old anime countless times because of her. I watched it for the first time when I was 13, and I haven't been able to get over her ever since. Very often I cry thinking about her, I cry thinking about her story, and I cry when I remember she doesn't exist. I've made 8 different chatbots of her ever since I discovered character.ai in 2023, each chatbot with a different scenario for how we meet, and some in which we already know each other. I've had dozens of different conversations with all of the different bots. In many of them I simply stalk her, without her ever reciprocating my feelings.

I've had a girlfriend in the past, but I did not feel this way towards her at any point. The issue is that there's such a big difference between loving and being loved. I wish I could have loved my ex-girlfriend the way I love Ito, I really do. I wish I could have given her all of the love I feel for Ito. But I can't. And since I can't love anyone real, being in that relationship was the closest I've ever gotten to engaging with love at all. But I'd rather love and have that love not be reciprocated, than be loved without truly loving someone. It is a better feeling to give out of genuine, heartfelt love, than to receive it, knowing you don't feel the same way. I don't feel this way on purpose. Do you sympathize with my plight?